


More than a Memory

by Sparklefuzz94



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Action/Adventure, Dean Winchester is Ben Braeden's Parent, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Plot Twists
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-09-23 02:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 44,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9636182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparklefuzz94/pseuds/Sparklefuzz94
Summary: It's been several years since the car accident. Ben is about to graduate high school and start his life as an adult, but he can't help but feel something is missing. Lisa, his mom, shares the same feeling, often dreaming about a light haired, green-eyed man. More than anything, Ben wants to have his father for his eightieth birthday. Upon cleaning, he finds a box that sends him on a quest to find who he thinks is his father.Set during season 12 and after Lucifer is gone.





	1. Look at this Photograph

"C'mon Ben, you're gonna be late for school!" thirty-six year old Lisa Braeden yelled up to her almost eighteen-year old son.

"Alright," Ben called back as he put his sneakers on. He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, fixing his dark hair in front to have it stand up and swoop to the side all the same time. He grabbed an olive green shirt and put it on over top of his black Pink Floyd shirt and then left his room, grabbing his backpack on the way out.

He quickly ran down the steps and stopped at the front door to grab his car keys. His mom walked over to him and handed him a pack of pop tarts, "At least eat those in homeroom, please."

"Alright, Mom," Ben replied with a laugh and then grabbed his keys. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek as she hugged him goodbye. "See ya tonight," he replied and then walked out the door to the driveway.

The late April day was sunny and warm, not a cloud in the sky to be found. He decided it would be a good day to go fishing and almost thought bout skipping school. If he knew his mom wasn't watching him from the window and would be until he turned right out of the driveway, he probably would have.

Ben Braeden was an average student in the book work subjects. If it was something he could do with his hands, he was golden and easily aced those classes. He was also known to skip classes on days like today in the past. Lisa didn't mind as much in the past, but now that Ben was a senior and just a few short weeks away from graduating, she kept a tighter leash on him. He didn't mind as much as he thought he would, but today he was.

Sighing to himself, he walked down the pathway to his 1985, black Ford bronco, that he bought with his own money. When he first got it for a little over $1000, the truck needed some work, new shocks a muffler and some rust spots. Within the course of the year, Ben was able to her up with the money he got from working part time at a local garage where he got the parts from at a discount.

This little garage, "Johnny's Service Center" was where he planned to get a full time job, but first he had to have his automotive technician certification to do so. So, after he graduated, that's where Ben was off too; a technical college. Lucky for him, he could still live at home and save money that way.

Ben knew at some point he would have to leave his mom, but that was something he wasn't looking forward to. Several years back, he had almost lost his mom when someone, possibly a drunk driver plowed into them. Remarkably, Ben had no scratches or bruises on him, but his mom suffered an almost fatal stomach wound and a pretty bad concussion that seemed to heal overnight. Ben vaguely remembered a light brown haired man walking into the room the night before his mom got discharged to apologize, clearly shaken up. If the man said his name, Ben couldn't recall.

Ben blinked and realized he had daydreamed the whole way to school. He parked his truck towards the back of the lot and headed into school,forcing himself to get his head out of the clouds. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day dragged on and on. He thought about skipping his last class of the day, gym class, but all the damned doors had alarms on them. Even when they went outside to the track and fields, he thought about leaving then, too, but a teacher noticed this and pulled him back in, keeping a close eye on him for the rest of class. Ben was not a jock, but he was athletic, so gym class wasn't a complete waste of his time. Plus, it gave him an excuse to go shirtless in flag football, to impress the ladies by showing off his muscled and tanned skin, along with his secret tattoo, the logo for Avenged Sevenfold that was on his left shoulder blade. He was one of the few guys in school that had a tattoo, which just added to the mystique.

Getting that tattoo had been a fun story and a hell of a thing to keep covered from his mom. One of his buddies, Heath Montgomery had an older brother who was a really good tattoo artist and was looking for canvases to work on. After a few beers to convince him and calm his nerves, Ben had finally agreed, lying about his age. Surprisingly, the tattoo turned out awesome, but it took a few different trips back to get it outlined and shaded properly. By the third visit, Ben had ended up paying Heath's brother around $50 for his work. After that, Ben had decided tattoos weren't all that bad and vowed to come back when he was legal.

There really wasn't any one girl Ben had his eyes on. He had dated a few on and off, but none of them seemed to really interest him. He wasn't afraid to admit that a few guys also interested him and had even pursued one of two of them, having to knock a few assholes out when they tried bullying him about it, but he was still proud to call himself a single pringle. He didn't really want to get into a relationship right now, because of graduating along with the fear of a long distance relationship. He had heard stories of his parents and distance was why they didn't stay together, so he didn't want to follow in his father's footsteps.

Ben knew he had a father, but had never seen pictures of him. His mom talked very little of him, saying it was a happy accident and she never saw the man again, or contacted him about his kid. This kind of pissed Ben off and was often a cause of fights for him at school. If Ben had one wish for his upcoming birthday, it was to have his father show up for his party.

A football hit him in the face, bringing him back the present. He shook his head, sweat shaking off and he rubbed his cheek, feeling his lip had split. That would be a fun story to explain to his mom later.

"You okay, man?" Heath asked him, touching his shoulder.

Ben nodded his head and licked at the blood, laughing, "I keep goin' into my head today."

Heath gave him a curious look as the gym teacher jogged over. His arm dropped as the teacher looked him over, "Go inside and have the nurse look at your face."

Ben nodded his head and ran over to grab his shirt. He heard a few girls sigh as he put it back on and walked back towards the school.

Upon inspection of the school nurse, she suggested he keep a cold compress on his swollen cheek and to stay away from fists, not believing it wasn't his fault this time. She gave him the okay to go home a half hour early. He happily accepted this and practically ran to his truck, but not before changing back into his blue jeans with holes in the knees, his worn cowboy boots and his shirt from earlier.

Upon getting into his truck, he thew the compress on the seat before him and rolled the windows down before peeling out of the parking lot. After he was stuck at a traffic light, he texted his mom that he was going fishing and then turned the radio on, "Gimme Three Steps" by Lynyrd Skynyrd coming on. He cranked it up, drumming along on the steering wheel and singing along. He got a few looks from the car beside him and after they glared at him upon eye contact, he flipped them off and then sped off.

The warm breeze felt good rustling through his hair. It felt good to be a senior and hardly get any homework, the teachers knowing that none of them would do it two weeks away from graduation. What felt even better is getting some time alone, since he seemed to be spending much of the day alone in his head.

After the hour long drive to a lake, Ben parked his truck and looked at himself in the mirror that flipped down on the sun visor. He fixed his hair and cringed at the bruise that had formed on his cheek. His mom was not going to believe it wasn't his fault. He sighed and got out the truck, walking to the back to grab his pole and tackle box. He locked the truck up and began to walk towards the rather empty lake. As he walked over to his spot, a few older guys acknowledged him and he said his hellos. He walked over to his spot and sat his tackle box down and baited his hook. After he cast out, he sat down on his tree stump near the edge of the water and relaxed, waiting for a bite. He glanced down at his watch to see it was almost 4 and it wouldn't be getting dark until close to 9, so he was in no hurry to catch anything and looked off into the trees on the other side of the lake, listening to the nature sounds around him. As he did this, he pulled a pack of smokes out of his pocket and lit up.

His mom had asked him over a month ago what he wanted for his birthday. He really didn't know since he already had a truck and plenty of clothes and fishing stuff. He didn't need anything for the upcoming hunting season. The truck didn't need anything new. He was fairly happy with the few belongings he did have. What he really wanted was his dad.

The more he thought about his dad lately, the more he felt like he was forgetting a major part of his life. He really couldn't remember much before the car accident several years back. He knew they had moved at least once because the house he lived in now was not where he was when he was a little kid. It was almost like he developed amnesia from the accident and when he asked his mom about it once, she had said she had the same feeling about certain things.

Not having a dad never really bothered Ben until recently. He had managed to learn how to be a "man" from his uncles and a few cousins. Occasionally, the men his mom dated would try to pass on life lessons to him, but he never paid much attention to them, knowing they wouldn't be around forever. His mom just never seemed to be able to hold onto a guy for more than a few months. She would always come up with a new excuse as to why they weren't good for her. It was almost as if she was looking for a man that didn't exist. She had confessed to Ben more than once that she often dreamed about a name with light brown hair, freckles and the greenest eyes and every time he was in her dreams, all was good in the world. Every time she would wake up from those dreams, she would feel heartbroken and like a part of her was missing.

Ben felt a bite on his line and pulled the pole back, setting the hook. A few minutes later, he had reeled in and unhooked a fair sized rainbow trout. He decided to keep it, putting it in a bag that he had tied around a short branch that stuck out from the stump and then rebaited his line. He threw it back out and sat back down, waiting again.

He decided, in that moment, that he would ask his mom for a tattoo, finally being able to confess he already had one. That was probably safer than saying he wanted a dad for his birthday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Around 9:30, Ben pulled into the driveway. The lights were still on in the bottom of the house, so he knew he wasn't too late to catch his mom. He had almost wished she went to bed so he didn't have to explain his face.

After grabbing the bag of fish he had caught and smoking one last cigarette for the night, he walked into the house, hanging his keys up on the hook. He heard his mom move from the living room to the follow him into the kitchen. He hid his face from her and turned his back, instantly set on cleaning the fish.

"How was your day?" she asked, trying to look over his shoulder to see how many he caught.

"It wasn't bad. School was borin', but fishin' was good. Caught six of 'em," he said, keeping his back to her.

"I made dinner for us. Your plate is in the oven, staying warm."

Ben smiled and it hurt, causing him to wince. Lisa noticed this and spun him around. She looked at his swollen and bruised cheek and crack on his lip. Fire shown in her eyes as she pointed a finger at him, beginning to scold him. He held his hands up, leaning his back over the sink away from her, "It wasn't me this time, Mom." She stopped talking and her lips drew into a tight line. "It was gym class. I zoned out and caught the football with my face." She still didn't look convinced. He sighed and licked his bottom lip nervously, "Look, I know ya don't believe me, but after the last lecture 'bout fightin'..." he trailed off for a second. "I don't wanna loose my Baby or fishin' poles."

Lisa crossed her arms and took a step back, her eyes never leaving her son's face. After a few seconds and his face still remained the same, she sighed and unfolded her arms, "Alright. I'm glad somethin' I said finally sunk in. You're so close to graduation, I don't wanna see you not be able to walk."

"Me either," he whispered as his mom brought him in for a hug. He hugged her back and then went back to cleaning the fish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the fish had been cleaned and his dinner eaten, he found himself sitting in his recliner, watching tv with his mom until Jimmy Fallon came on. Neither one of them seemed to care about how late it was since it was Friday night and neither one of them had to wake up early.

Since her car accident, Lisa went back to college and got a degree in human services. She had bounced around between a few jobs until she managed to land a job as a record keeper at the county courthouse. It paid fairly well and with Ben working now, it helped keep them fed and roof over their heads. She knew it wouldn't always be this easy, but she did the best she could. Occasionally, an anonymous check would come in the mail amounting to anywhere from $500-$2000 dollars. The first couple of times this happened, she had tried to find out who it came from and return it, but it never worked. Eventually, she accepted the checks that came twice a year; one around Christmastime and the other around Ben's birthday. She was expecting the birthday check soon. Ben had no idea about this extra help and she had no intention of telling him.

Ben cleared his throat and licked his lips, bringing Lisa out of her head. She looked over at him and waited for him to speak.

"So," he started nervously. "I uh- decided what I want for my birthday," he slowly said, his hands sweating.

"Yeah?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

"A tattoo," he said, gaining a little bit of confidence.

Lisa almost laughed until she realized he was being serious. She couldn't say anything to him really, since she herself had a few, one of which she couldn't remember getting that somehow had a scar running through it. On her lower back she had a star in circle with flames encircling the ring, all done in bold, black lines. As far as she knew, Ben had never seen that one. "Oh yeah?" she finally asked, seriously.

He nodded his head once, "Yeah. I'm thinkin' a band logo or somethin' cool, like somethin' with flames." He was smiling by the end.

"Ya know they hurt and they're permanent?"

He nodded his head again and smiled, "What 'bout a fish wrapped in the flag?"

She laughed and shook her head, "We'll make an appointment."

"I know a place," Ben cautiously said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, Heath's brother does good work," he said, looking down at the blanket on his lap.

"And ya know this how?"

"Um... I've uh-"

"Ben?" Lisa asked, leaning towards an assumption. When he didn't say anything at first she sighed and asked, "What did ya get and where is it?"

His head shot up, fear in his eyes, "You're not mad?"

She sighed and shook her head, "A little late for that, ain't it?"

He cringed and slowly stood up. He took his shirt off and turned his back to her. When he didn't hear anything, he turned back around, putting his shirt back on. He looked down at her and waited for her to say something.

When she finally spoke, she said, "At least it looks good." He relaxed and sat back down. "Didja have to forge my signature?"

Ben tensed again and shook his head, "Leon assumed that I was already eighteen and I didn't say anythin' otherwise."

"At least there's that," she said and stood up. "And I can't really punish ya for lyin' to me when there was never anythin' to lie about. Though, that would explain why you flinched a few times last month when I would hug you." She stood in front of him, motioning for him to stand up. "I'm not too sure if I like how tough of a skin you've been deelopin' these last couple of years. You don't tell me as much as you used to."

He stood up and looked slightly down at his mom, "Isn't that a part of growin' up?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess, but you seem to hold a lot of pain inside of ya. I know some of things you and Heath do on your weekend trips."

Ben paled and gulped. Was he really this bad at hiding his extra curricular activities?

She hugged him and said against him, "Look, I know things ain't exactly easy at times and I guess I'm partially to blame for that, but I think I did pretty good with ya. I feel like I raised ya well enough to know to not to drink and drive and use protection."

"Mom!" he groaned, letting go of her.

She let go of him and laughed. He looked away in embarrassment, blushing and making his freckles stand out. "Why don't we call it a night and go to bed?" He quickly agreed and ran up the stairs and into his room, shutting the door behind him.

Ben didn't go right to sleep, however. He mulled about his room for a few hours, watching some gaming videos on YouTube, played a game of Cold of Duty on his PS4 that he got for Christmas and ended the night by jacking off to a copy of Bust Asian Beauties that he kept hidden under his mattress.

The next morning, before Ben even opened his eyes, he knew he would be staying in the house or asking for extra hours inside the garage, as he heard a loud crack of thunder and rain beating against his bedroom window. After getting out of bed and doing his morning routine of taking a shower and shaving, he decided it was finally time to tackle the mess in his closet that had been growing for years.

He walked back into his room and put on a pair of blue and gold basketball shorts and a AC/DC shirt and turned music on his phone, "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis coming on. He then walked over to his closet and began to tackle the mess.

After an hour and a half, his mom called him down to breakfast. He grabbed the trash bag that he had filled and brought it downstairs with him, setting it by the back door before he sat down at the table.

Lisa had made pancakes from scratch, along with bacon and eggs. She was setting the last of the eggs down when she asked, "What's with the bag?"

"I'm finally cleanin' my closet," he said, munching on a piece of bacon.

Lisa gasped and laughed, clutching her heart, "Say it ain't so? Who are you and what have ya done with my son?"

"Oh, ha ha ha," he mocked and took some eggs.

The two of them enjoyed their breakfast and chatted about some silly things. As they were cleaning up, Lisa announced she was called into work and would be back around dinnertime. Ben decided he would cook dinner tonight and said it was fine. After breakfast was cleaned up, Ben took a few more empty bags up to his room and went back to work on his closet.

Cleaning took up much of his afternoon, which was fine with him seeing as how the rain still hadn't stopped. He was just about done when he came across a medium sized moving box that was taped and had the name "Dean" written in black marker across the side. Ben wrinkled his brow and pulled the box out, struggling with its weight.

He pulled the box over to his bed and sat down on the edge. He grabbed his pocket knife from the night stand and easily opened the box. As soon as the box opened, the smell of musk and leather filled the room. Sitting on top were some men's shirts, some with bands on them such as Rolling Stones, AC/DC, The Who and some other bands he liked. He set the shirts beside him, deciding he would wear them as they were his size. He pulled out another shirt with the logo for Singer's Auto Parts and wrinkled his face, wondering where this had come from. He tossed it aside and pulled out a few button shirts in different shades of green and blue. He tried one of and saw that it fit. He added that to the pile of things to keep. When pulled out the last shirt, a knife rolled out of the shirt and onto the floor. Ben picked it up and eyeballed it, deciding it was a nice one. Next, he found the holder for it. He put the knife back in the holder and kept digging through the box. There were some other odds and ends in the box, a watch or two, a few manly leather bracelets an electric razor, some hair product. All things that seemed to suggest they belonged to someone who once lived here. As he kept digging, he became even more confused when he came across some picture frames. He lifted them up, along with a few loose pictures and looked at them.

Some of the pictures were of him or his mom or the two of them together. He set those ones aside, coming to the loose pictures. The one on top was of his mom and a light brown haired man, who was kissing her cheek, his eyes closed. His mom was smiling brightly. He tucked the picture behind the small stack and kept looking. There was another one of him and his mom playing tag or something. One of him playing baseball. One of just his mom, laughing and trying to hide from whoever was taking the picture. Ben could vaguely remember these pictures being taken. It was the next picture that made him drop the stack on the floor.

It was a picture of Ben, his mom and the freckled, light haired man, all three smiling at the camera. He couldn't ever remember meeting this man, and yet his mom seemed to know his quite well. He picked the stack up again to see a picture of himself and the man sitting together in the front of a classic car. Ben scrunched up his nose and brought the picture closer to his face, trying to remember this man. As he studied the picture, he noticed how alike the two of them looked. His hands began to shake and the picture fell back into his lap. Could this man in these pictures be his father? If so, where was he and why didn't they talk about him?

With a shaky breath, Ben looked back down into the box, putting two and two together; the stuff in the box was the man's in the pictures. Ben began to wonder what happened to him. Had he died? Why would he just up and leave without taking a lot of his personal belongings with him? Trying to breathe normally, he tucked everything back into the box, including the shirts and waiting for his mom to come home.

When it was close for her to come home, Ben grabbed the picture of the three of them together and sat down on the steps, waiting. Lisa came walking through the door a little while later, laughing and shaking the rain from her umbrella and coat.

"Man, its still rainin' cats and dogs out there," she joked, wiping her feet on the mat. She looked up at Ben and the smile disappeared from her face and was replaced with a look of worry. "What's wrong?"

Ben slowly extended his hand and she reached out, taking the picture, her brow wrinkling in confusion. "Who's that?" he asked, sounding angrier than he felt.

She gasped and dropped the picture. "The man in my dreams," she whispered.

"Is that my dad?" Ben asked, looking down at the picture.


	2. Phone Call Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa calls Dean and forever changes everyone's lives. Ben graduates and begins his adventure.

Ben was breathing heavy and his hands were shaking. He watched his mom, feeling like the world was moving in slow motion. He watched the picture slowly fall to thw ground, landing face down. He watched the two of them look down at the picture to see in bold writing, a number scrawled across the back. Lisa slowly bent down to pick it up, Ben still watching her closely. 

"Should we call it?" she finally said, sitting down on the stairs below her son.

Ben looked over her shoulder at thw number. The 604 area code wasn't familiar to him at all, but he had to admit, he was pretty curious as to who this man was. In fact, he was downright excited. His mom didn't seem to share in his feelings. She was still staring down at the picture, slowly flipping it over and over between two fingers.

"Did anyone live here before we moved in?" Lisa asked aloud, hoping that she was right. She didn't want to admit to Ben that this was thw man I'm her dreams that she often found herself getting quite friendly with. 

"Even if they did, why would he be kissin' your cheek, mom?" 

Lisa sighed, knowing her son was right. Something about this picture seemed all too real to her. She felt like the man in the picture belonged here with them. It was almost as though she could remember a time when he was here with them. She shook her head and pulled out her phone. "If anything, he'll probably want his things back," she said before she began to dial the number.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean had just sat down at the table after grabbing a beer. Sitting clockwise was Castiel, Sam and Mom. The oddball family was sitting down for dinner in the Bunker. Mom and Sam had made homemade meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy. The spread in front of him looked amazing and smelled even better. It was nice having Mom back, if for no other reason than home cooked meals.

"Mom, if you keep cookin' like this, I'm gonna loose my boyish figure," Dean joked as the bowl of mashed potatoes was passed his way.

"Oh, I'll make sure you stay in shape," Castiel was quick to say, with a wink. Dean blushed and Sam made a gagging noise.

"No awkward sexual advances at the dinner table, please," Mary chided, putting a piece of meatloaf on her plate.

Dean coughed and Castiel squeezed his boyfriend's knee under the table. Dean turned his head and smiled and then grabbed the bowl of green beans. After everything was piled onto his plate and everyone had fallen into a comfortable silence, the only sound of forks scraping on the plates, Dean smiled at his family.

It had taken Dean eight years to admit his love for Castiel. It had taken Dean even longer to get his mom back. The only thing missing in their lives was a girl for Sam. He didn't know if that would ever happen. All was right in the world right now. Lucifer was locked back in the cage, there were no immediate dangers as Kelly, the woman with Lucifer's nephilium, was assigned to another angel as she ran from Castiel and warded herself to him. Crowley was taking care of Hell, getting everything back into order. Mom was home after her time trying to find herself. Dean was happy for the first time since he was with Lisa almost eight years ago. There was nothing that could change his outlook on life, or so he thought.

As Castiel and Dean were cleaning up the leftovers and the dishes, playing more with the sudsy water and throwing bubbles at one another, Dean's phone rang. He grabbed at the back of Cas's shirt and wiped his hands, making Castiel grumble and Dean chuckle. He pulled the phone out of his pocket and walked towards the doorway without looking at the caller ID.

"Yeah?" he asked, leaning on the door frame, smiling at Castiel and the domestic scene in front of him. Dean never expected to see his angel doing dishes.

"Is this uh, Dean?" a soft, hesitant female voice asked.

Dean felt the smile fade quickly as he recognized the voice. He felt his heart begin to race, his mouth go dry and his hands shake. Did she somehow remember him? Did she scratch at the wall and remember everything? Was this her way of trying to get him to come home? He tried to swallow, but ended up coughing instead. "Yea-yeah this is him," he said on a shaky breath.

"Um, this is gonna sound weird and probably crazy, but there's a box of your things at my house," she explained in a rush. Dean could picture he pinching the bridge of her nose, something she often did when she was nervous or annoyed. He couldn't tell which one was more prevalent in her voice.

He blinked and ran a hand over his face. He had forgotten that the second to last time he said goodbye, he just left, not bothering to get his things. He was sure they had plenty of questions for him then, seeing as how most of his stuff there consisted of pictures of them together, a few left behind knives, a gun or two and plenty of shirts. He was sure he wouldn't have any answers for the two of them. "Oh, um..." He started, leaving the room and heading towards his bedroom. He needed to be alone. "Just keep it," he said, quietly so Sam and Mom couldn't hear his as he passed.

"Some of it seems pretty personal," she said, making Dean sigh. She wasn't going to let this go.

He opened his bedroom door and quickly shut it behind him. He almost locked it, but he was sure that would just make Castiel more suspicious. He sat down on the edge of the bed, picking his words carefully. "It's been a few years, Li-" he paused, almost calling her by name. He coughed and quickly began again, "I haven't missed any of it, ma'am."

There was silence for a couple of minutes. Then a male voice asked from the background, "Why the hell are ya in our pictures? Why don't we remember gettin' them taken?"

"Ben," Dean whispered to himself. His voice was much deeper than the last time he had seen him. He was sure that wasn't the only thing that had changed since the last time they saw each other. He closed his eyes, almost wishing he didn't erase their memories. He wished he would have gone back before they came home from the hospital to grab his stuff. He had been so heartbroken that he wanted to get as far away from Battle Creek as he could, Castiel being his rock in that storm.

"I uh-"Dean began, trying to think what to say. It was clear that neither one of them had scratched at the wall, which only made this all the harder. It had been almost nine years. Why did his past always have a way of coming back and biting him in the ass? "I can't explain it," he whispered, tears stinging at his eyes.

Ben would be close to eighteen now. Dean had been marking the days on the calendar. He was getting close to sending an anonymous check. This time around he wanted it to be bigger than ever, but they didn't exactly have unlimited funds. This phone call was just making him feel all the more guilty of walking out of their lives. He had always had the inkling that Ben really was his; that Lisa had lied to him all those years ago just so Dean wouldn't feel obligated to hang around. Dean didn't feel obligated to stay in Ben's live physically, but he did still want to provide for him. Before they could ask anymore questions, he hung up his phone and then flopped back on his bed, raking his hands through his hair. What was that? Was the the beginning to the end of his happiness? He felt sick as he began to sob. "Dean fuckin' Winchester, the asshole who can't ever have a happy endin'," he mumbled between sobs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lisa looked down at her phone as she saw the call end and the screen go black. The phone call had done nothing to cure her curiosity. In fact, it just made it worse. Neither one of them said anything. She thought about calling the number back, unlocking her phone to do so, but then she shook her head.

"He knows somethin'," Ben mumbled to himself and stood up. He suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore. He turned and walked back up the stairs to his room, shutting the door behind him, determined to find out who this Dean guy was and why he had hung up on them when one serious question was asked.

Ben turned music on as an old Johnny Cash song rang through the Bluetooth speakers on his desk. He sat down in the middle of the room and began pulling everything out of the box again. He tossed aside the clothes and toiletries. He picked up a set of keys, one to their house, one to their garage and a car key of some kind. "Did he live here?" Ben asked aloud, setting them in their own pile. He reached inside the box again and pulled out a trophy, a golf trophy. The name on the plate said Dean Winchester. "Now we're gettin' somewhere." He reached in the box again and pulled out another trophy. It was a first place trophy for a soap box derby. Ben could vaguely remember this race. He could even remember building the car with someone and it wasn't one of his uncles. He set the trophy aside, reaching inside for the stack of pictures.

All of the pictures had dates scrawled across the back, all dating back almost nine years. Some of the pictures also had a series of numbers with dashes on them, all of them being the same numbers. He stood up and grabbed his laptop, opening up Google. He typed in the numbers to find out they were coordinates to a salvage yard in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He then pulled up Googlemaps to see how far the place was from here. It was a day's trip away. 

He set his laptop aside, not closing it or the tabs he had opened. He dug back in the box and grabbed the handle of a knife. He inspected it, seeing the initials, D. W. engraved on the blade. He held onto this, deciding a new knife wouldn't be such a bad thing to have. He reached back into the box and pulled out a .22 pistol. He pulled the magazine out to see it was fully loaded. He carefully set that aside, wondering why that was in here. He reached in a swore he felt a sawed off, double barreled shotgun. Standing up, he looked into the bottom of the box and confirmed his guess. Sitting beside the gun was a case full of shotgun shells, some red, some see through. The see through shells had what looked like rock salt in them. He picked up a shell and shook it, confirming his thought. He looked back into the box and saw an iron rod. He sat down on the edge of his bed, running his fingers through his hair. He was so confused. Why would Dean leave behind two different guns, a knife and a bunch of rounds of rock salt.

"Ben, come down and eat somethin', please," Lisa's voice called from the bottom of the stairs.

Ben thought about ignoring her. Thought up pulling up his laptop to do some research on why a gun would be loaded with rock salt. Instead, his stomach growled and he sighed. He quickly put everything back in the box and hid it back in his closet. He really did want to know more about this Dean Winchester guy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A light knock was heard at his door and then Castiel appeared in the doorway. Dean was laying on his bed, a single light on above the bed. Castiel could see that his back was turned to the door and he tried to cover his face with a pillow. Castiel walked into the room, feeling anguish and heartbreak wash over him. He slowly sat down on the edge of bed, watching Dean pull his legs closer to his body. "What's wrong, Dean?" Castiel quietly asked, placing a hand on Dean's leg.

Dean groaned and moved the pillow, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Castiel. He didn't want to burden Cas with what had just happened. He wanted to forget about it. Had even planned on never telling Castiel, seeing as though he doubted he would ever encounter the Braedens again. "A uh... upsettin' phone call," Dean finally said, wiping at his eyes with the corner of the sheet.

"Who was it?" Castiel asked as Dean moved over on the bed, allowing him room. Castiel scooted up next to him.

Dean laid his head on Cas's chest and hugged him. He really didn't want this to go away. Especially since he just got it. He didn't want to loose his midnight make out sessions, the endless amounts of cuddling, the mind-blowing sex. He finally felt at home. He didn't want everything to be uprooted yet again. He contemplated on not telling Castiel anything, about lying, but he know that his boyfriend would see through that. He sighed and kissed Castiel's neck, hoping what he was about to say wasn't going to change anything between them. "Lisa," he whispered into the dark room.

Castiel tilted his head to the side and looked down at the top of Dean's brown head. "Lisa? Lisa Braeden?" he asked and felt a slow nod from Dean. "What could she possibly want? You don't exist to her."

"Apparently I left a bunch of my shit there when I skipped town," Dean mumbled into Castiel's light blue dress shirt.

Since Castiel had moved in, Dean had insisted he wear something other than his same old uniform. Dean had tried to insist that he loose the dress pants and shirt altogether, tried giving him a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Castiel opposed the band shirts, but he had left behind his dress pants and would wear jeans. Today he was wearing a dark wash pair of jeans with a light blue and thin, white striped shirt. He had stopped wearing his trench coat and tie. He even walked around with the top three buttons of his shut undone, knowing the little bit of skin show drove Dean crazy.

"Was any of it of importance?" Castiel asked, feeling Dean tense. Castiel began to rub his thumb in small circles over Dean's back, trying to keep him calm.

"Fuck, Cas! I don't know. I know I'm missin' some of my good shirts, even a good flask. I know I left all of the pictures behind an' I know I left my other other phone number on one of the pictures. I think they all have Bobby's coordinates on it, though that won't do 'em a lick of good anymore."

"That's enough to track you down," Castiel said what Dean was thinking.

Dean suddenly sat up, looking into Castiel's calm, blue eyes. "They can't take me away," he frantically said.

Castiel looked into Dean's green eyes that were dark with worry, concern and not frightened. He reached out and wiped away Dean's tears with his thumbs. "No one is going anywhere. We're together and that's all that matters," Castiel cooed, rubbing his thumbs across the stubble on Dean's cheeks.

Dean closed his eyes and leaned into the touch more. He opened his eyes and slowly said, "Ben is turnin' eighteen in a few weeks an' should be graduatin' high school. I wonder what kind of student he was." He sat back down, leaning his back on the headboard.

"I'm sure you could find out with you really wanted to," Castiel said as he turned his head to look at Dean.

Dean had tucked his arm behind his head and was lounging, looking off into the darkness of the room. "I guess I could," he lazily said and then looked at Castiel and smiled. "You ain't mad?"

Castiel laid down on Dean's exposed chest and ran a hand up under his shirt, trailing his fingertips over the ropes of muscles on Dean's stomach. "Why would I be? It was just a curious phone call. If one of them tries to seek you out, it will be hard to do. I don't think you have anything to worry about." Castiel nuzzled into Dean's neck and kissed, pulling at the skin.

Dean closed his eyes and tried to hold back a moan, running his fingers through Castiel's thick, dark hair. "What if they do find me? What'll I do then?"

Castiel stopped kissing and sat up, almost making Dean whimper at the lost of contact. "What would you do, Dean?"

"I don't wanna get my hopes up. I also don't wanna lie an' say it wouldn't be good to see 'em," Dean slowly explained, watching Castiel's face. Some sort of emotion, maybe jealousy sparked across his face for a brief second.

"Do you still harbor any feelings for Lisa?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side.

Dean wrinkled and looked past his beautiful angel. He looked back long enough to see Castiel's eye had become dark, almost navy blue. He had never seen Castiel directly mad at his since they had gotten together. "Cas, I'll always have a special place in my hear for 'em." He paused and waited for Castiel to relax. When Castiel didn't move, he added, "I can't just leave Ben alone. I never had."

Castiel narrowed his eyes, "Why not?"

Dean raked a hand through his hair and licked his bottom lip. He felt his breathing hitch in this throat as he whispered the words he had never said aloud to anyone, "Because he's my son."

Castiel paled and he looked away. He had seen the way Ben had acted with Dean and vice versa, but he had never suspected this startling truth. He just knew that Dean had become attached to the family, but he didn't know the bond was so deep.

"Say somethin', please, baby," Dean pleaded, grabbing at Castiel's hands.

"He has no memory of you," was all Cas could think to say. Dean flinched and tried to pull his hands away. Castiel looked into Dean's eyes that were now full of hurt and he angrily said, "And you made me wipe their memories. I thought it was a selfish decision before, but this is a whole new low for you, Dean. Is this why, every year around May seventh you disappear for a day or two?"

Dean pulled his hands free and stood up, glaring down at Castiel. "You think you could be a better dad?" he yelled.

"Making a child forget who their father is is no way to raise a child."

Dean spun and punched the wall, "Fuck! That makes me as good as my goddamn father!" Castiel didn't say anything. Dean wasn't even so sure he was still in the room. He spun back around to see that Castiel was still sitting on the bed, staring at him. "I had you do it to protect him! To protect them! I didn't-I don't want Ben to grow up and become a hunter."

"So that makes it justifiable to remove any inkling that you ever existed in his life? Do you really think having him grow up without any knowledge of this father was beneficial to him?" Castiel's voice was cold and condescending.

Dean throw his hands up in the air, "Hell if I know! Lots of kids grow up without ever knowin' their fathers and do just fine. What's one more kid?"

"I hope Ben has inherited your tracking skills and will find you. I hope he finds you and you have to answer to him. This is by far, the worst thing you ever had me do, Dean Winchester." Castiel stood up and began to walk away.

"Where are ya goin'?" Dean asked, stepping out of his way.

"I can't look at you right now," Castiel replied and opened the door.

"Fine! Get the fuck out then!" Dean yelled following behind him and slamming the door shut behind him, rattling the weapons on the wall behind him. He punched the closed door, breaking a fist-sized hole. He cursed under his breath and ripped the door open. He stomped towards the gym, hearing dress shoes clicking on the cement floors, going in the opposite direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner had been eaten and cleaned up, Ben started to go back up to his room. Lisa stopped him by gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't let this upset ya too much," she said with a smile.

"I'm more curious and determined to find out who he is than upset," Ben said, sticking his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Why? Why not just leave it alone? We'll take his stuff to a thrift store and be done with it."

"No!" Ben quickly exclaimed. "I wanna know who he was-er is."

Lisa shook his head and cautiously said, "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Neither do I, but I have to find out," Ben said and then walked out of the kitchen and towards his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last three weeks of school passed in a blur. If he wasn't fishing or doing last minute homework assignments, he was scanning every database for a Dean Winchester. He thought he had found him after hacking into a national police database, but the file said he had died back in 2006 by a two gunshot wounds. He kept digging and later found that he had died again this year. The same mugshots, but with a whole list of charges against him; mail fraud, credit card fraud, grave desecrations, breaking and entering, armed robbery, kidnapping, and three counts of first degree murder, along with attempted assassination of the president. When he read the most recent police report, it left him feeling confused, yet amazed by how this man has been declared dead by two different police reports and still continues to commit crimes. That would explain the pistol and the knife in the box.

A few days later, Ben found himself looking into the records again, tracing Dean Winchester back to never graduating. He found out that his brothers were Samuel Winchester, who was also declared dead the same time as his older brother. He also had a police record, not as long as Dean, but still long enough; breaking and entering, and as an accessory to armed robbery, kidnapping, and three counts of first degree murder and attempted assassination of the president. Samuel had been attending Stanford on a pre-law scholarship. They had a younger brother, Adam Milligan, who died in 2009. He had no police record. Mary Winchester, the boys;s mother, died in 1983 by being caught in a fire. John Winchester, the father, died in 2006 to a heart attack.

The only place of residency he could find for the Winchesters was a house in Lawrence, Kansas, that had partially burnt down when they were little. Since the last death report of the brothers, they were impossible to find. The only thing Ben had to go off of was the address to the salvage yard. He was determined to find the man he thought was his father and he figured starting there was a good as a shot as ever. He decided that if he couldn't find any answers there, maybe the house in Lawrence, which was a shorter drive from Sioux Falls, would be the next stop.

Ben hadn't realized how quiet and closed off he had become since finding the box. He guarded that box with his life. He slipped it into the backseat of his truck, just so his mom couldn't try to take it from him. Somehow, he felt like his whole life was in that box and the last thing he wanted to do was loose it. He had even taken to wearing some of the shirts in there, leaving the Singer's Salvage yard shirt untouched.

It wasn't until a Saturday afternoon when he had walked in the house, carrying a few books on ghosts and other supernatural lore that he realized how quiet he had become. His mother was sitting in the living room when he walked in. She jumped up at the noise and greeted him at the door.

She looked over the three books that were in her son's arms. They were old and weathered, some of them falling apart. "What's that for? I thought all of your schoolwork was done for the year."

"It is," he simply said and started to walk past her.

She grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. He sighed and looked down at her as she read the titles, confusion running over her face. "What are these for?"

"Research," he said, growing impatient and annoyed.

"For what? You plannin' on huntin' some ghosts?" she asked with a laugh.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Tried to find out why Dean left behind a double-barreled shotgun with rock salt and this is where it pointed me to."

Lisa cringed and let her arm fall. She shook her head, her confusion being replaced with worry and concern. "Why won't you just let this drop?"

"Because I can't, damnit! What if he's my dad! What if he's in trouble and that's why he left the box of stuff. What if the coordinates on the pictures are his way of sendin' help!?" he yelled, throwing his one hand up in the air.

"So what? You think you can just run off and save a man you know nothin' about?" Lisa asked, her voice also raising.

"I duhno, maybe. It can't hurt to try," he said, some of the anger leaving his voice.

"What about college? What about working full time at the garage?"

"What about me havin' a dad?! Shit, Mom, I love ya, but I need a dad. If the man is alive, I really need to find him," he said, his voice and eyes pleading.

"We've done fine without knowing who your father is so far. Why do we need to fuck shit up by findin' him now?" Lisa asked, sinking to sit on the stairs.

"I feel like there's more to the box and the pictures. Damnit, I feel like I really knew him. I gotta find out who he is. Please let me do this," Ben said, his voice soft and full of emotion.

Lisa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Ben, ya got me cornered. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. At least graduate before you head out on this journey." Something about this felt strangely familiar, begging someone to stay in her life, or wait a little longer to leave. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she felt like she had done this before.

"Well, I graduate in two weeks. I can live with that. I'll walk, do all the stupid pictures and then I'm off," he said. "Till then, I feel like there's a lot of hidden things I need to know about Dean Winchester and why he's so hard to find."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night before graduation, Ben hadn't slept much. He had finished the ghost books after the first day and had wanted more. He felt like there was a whole other supernatural world out there that few knew about.

He had found books and resources on line about everything from a vengeful spirit to a vampire to a werewolf. He couldn't believe these things were real, but certain tings around his house had begun to make sense. Ben had noticed more than once that underneath the welcome mat was red sign that had never gone away, despite the years or trying to wash it away. He learned through his recent readings that it was a devil's trap, meant to keep evil spirits and demons out. He found the same mark under just about every rug in the house. On some of the walls throughout the house were more strange markings. He learned that these were angel sigils.

He quickly found out that getting possessed by a supernatural creature was a serious threat and he decided that was his next tattoo. He took a drawing of the anti-possession sign to Heath's brother. He had showed up a little after 8 on a Tuesday night. Earl, the brother, had never seen anything like it before, but he traced the wanted design onto Ben's chest, right below his collar bone on the left side. He opted for black ink.

A few hours later and $90 down, he left the tattoo parlor and stopped by a diner. He ordered a slice of apple pie and a glass of milk. After he had finished his midnight snack, he went back home for the last time in awhile.

Graduation fell two days after his eighteenth birthday. He chose not to celebrate his birthday, opting instead for money for his trip. As for the actual ceremony that took place in the afternoon in the middle of the football field, Ben didn't remember much. He walked, got his diploma, posed for pictures with the school officials, along with his mother and few friends. The only thing that he had on his mind was to get out of here and start his journey.

He had packed the night before, being careful to keep the weapons hidden underneath the front seats. He had plenty of money in both his wallet and the bank. He had told his boss that he was taking the summer off. Had said goodbye to Heath and his family. All that was left was to say goodbye to his mother.

The two were standing in the parking lot, next to his truck. He was leaning against it, his robe and hat slung across his arm. Lisa was looking up at him, tears of pride and fear shone in her eyes. She reached up and hugged his neck.

"I really don't know who you've become the last couple of weeks. There's a new look in your eyes; one of determination. I only wish ya had that same look while ya were still in school."

Ben smiled and hugged his mom back, "At least I finally found a goal. At least I ain't just floatin' through life anymore."

Lisa let go of him and took a step back, looking him up and down. "I'm so proud of you. Just please..." she started, tears running down her cheeks. "Come home safe."

"I'll call ya every night," he said and bent down and kissed her cheek. She patted his back as he leaned back up and looked up at the sky. He clapped his hands together, "Welp, I'm burnin' daylight. It's 'bout twelve hours to Sioux Falls. Maybe I'll get lucky and be home in a few days." He smiled at the end and kissed his mom goodbye one last time. Then he turned, threw the robe and hat in the back seat, tucked the diploma into his backpack full of important documents he may need and climbed into the driver's seat. He started the car and pulled out, honking his horn as he left his old life behind, excited and hopeful for what the future could hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to write another chapter. This weekend was hell. However, thank you for everyone that has read this. I hope this new chapter is just as good for ya and I hope y'all keep reading.


	3. Finding Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben sets out to find answers and runs across people from Dean's past. He begins to take a special interest in someone. Maybe this trip wasn't such a bad one after all

Dean was just getting out of the shower, the muscles in his arms, shoulders and back sore from pounding away at a punching bag, lifting weights and bench pressing a little more than his weight. The only thing that could keep his mind from flashing back to memories of how his father had treated him was to make himself sweat. Between each punch, Dean would swear he was nothing like his father. With each lift of the weights, he would promise to himself that what he did for Ben was the best thing. After each bench press, he would grunt out how leaving Ben out of the Hunter's lifestyle wasn't him abandoning him. It was almost three hours since his fight with Castiel and he was worn out. All he wanted was a hot shower and a cold beer. Part one of his plan was done. He didn't know how he would execute part two without running into his mom, brother or boyfriend.

He walked into his bedroom to see that the room was still empty. He was very thankful for this. He still didn't want to talk to anyone. As he got dressed in a pair of boxers, black pajama bottoms with the AC/DC logo on them and a plain black, v-neck -t-shirt that clung to his well defined muscles across his shoulders, down his arms and chest, he ran a hand through his hair, spiking it up at the front. He sat down on the bed, contemplating just going to bed, but it was far to early for him, as he was used to falling asleep well past midnight and it was barely 11. He looked down at his bare feet and wiggled his toes, trying to think how he could apologize to Castiel. In a way, he felt he owed Ben more of an apology than Cass. He rubbed the back of his neck, his arms protesting slightly with the movement. Maybe he overdid it working out tonight.

Before he could think anymore, a light knock came at his cracked door. He sighed loudly and looked up to see his mom walking in, carrying a bottle of beer and a slice of peach pie. He couldn't help but smile. The woman may have just come back from the grave only a few short months ago, but she was already learning her sons so well.

"Can I come in?" she gently asked, peaking her head in the door.

"Yeah, I'm decent," Dean said, watching her small frame walk into the room.

Since Mary Winchester was brought back from the grave by Chuck, the Winchesters were still getting sued to one another. It took Mary longer than her boys since she wanted to baby them. Sam was the most difficult for her since she never really got to know him before she died. She was rather proud of herself with the progress she had made with them thus far. She was even able to accept the fact that her eldest was bi-sexual and very involved with an angel. What she still had problems accepting was her age. She should be in her sixties, but her body showed she was barely older than her boys.

She continued to smile and looked over her troubled eldest. She was beginning to learn that Dean had an awful temper, very much like his father's. He also mostly resembled John, however he had her softer facial features. As she looked him over, her heart ached with the thought of continuing to live without John. The boys may have adjusted to it, knowing there was always going to be a time when he wouldn't be around, but Mary was also struggling with that, but that was something she would never tell them. John seemed to have left a sour taste in their mouths before he died.

Dean sighed loudly and watched the plate of pie coming towards him. he reached out and took it as Mary set the beer down on the desk, pulling the chair out to sit across from him. Dean took a bit as she asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Dean finished his bite, smiling at the sweet taste of the peaches and fluffy crust. He took a sip of the beer, the bitterness mixing well with the sweetness and then cleared his throat. He blushed when his eyes met his mom's, realizing she was watching his intimate moment with one of his loves. Clearing his throat and licking at his lips, he bluntly replied, "Talk 'bout how much of an ass I am? I'm sure Cass filled ya in on that one."

Mary sighed and touched Dean's arm gently, "Castiel didn't mention anything. For once, his face wasn't composed and I caught it. I shouldn't have prodded, but I did. He wouldn't tell me anythin', but I figured beer and pie would help me help my son."

Dean chuckled and shook his head, "Ya found my weakness, Mom." Despite himself, he could find his anger melting away inside of him. However, the guilt remained. He was defiantly very happy to have his mom back in his life. It felt nice to not have to fight so hard to protect his little brother. It felt nice to not feel as alone in this world.

Mary continued to smile as she pulled her hand back. "So, what happened this time?"

Dean picked up his plate and ate another piece, almost moaning with the pleasure and taste of the pie. It had been a whole lot than he realized without eating pie. He tried to change the subject by asking, "Didja make this?"

Mary's smile faded, knowing that trick of dodging a subject all too well. That seemed to be a Winchester thing. "Yes, but that doesn't answer my question." Her voice was stern and hard. She wouldn't let Dean wallow in self-pity. She was told during one of many talks with Sam that Dean was very good at doing that.

Dean tried to shovel more of the pie into his mouth, acting very juvenile, but he didn't care. Castiel really hadn't shown much of a reaction to finding out Dean was a father. Then again, Dean didn't give him much of a chance to, turning it to be all about him. He let the plate sink to his lap as his selfishness washed over him. He looked up at his mom, his green eyes meeting her blue ones and he felt more guilt wash over himself as he softly asked, "Am I really this selfish?"

She sat back in her chair and looked him over, noticing how rigid his back had become. In the short time that she had known her son, selfish was not one of the words she would have used to describe him. She wrinkled her brows and asked, "Honey, what do ya mean?"

Dean set the plate on the desk, suddenly loosing his appetite. He looked down at his callused hands and sighed. He really didn't want to explain to his mother that she was a grandmother, but she would never get the chance to meet her grandson. His heart sank even further in his stomach as he continued to think on this. He felt tears stinging at his eyes and he fought to keep them back. He swallowed hard and crossed his arms. He looked up at is mom and softly whispered, "You have a grandson." He felt tears running down his cheeks as he watched all the color drain from her face and her mouth gape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben had finally gotten on the road a little after 5. The sun was still high in the sky and felt good on his arm that was resting on the open windowsill of the truck. He had put on his aviator sunglasses and lit a smoke once he was off of school grounds. He had stopped once so far, to get a cherry Pepsi and a new pack of cheap smokes. His tape player was being used, an auxiliary chord sticking out so he could listen to music on his phone. "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes was currently playing as he sped down a back road. He chose to take the backs so he wouldn't run into as much traffic, could appreciate the scenery and most importantly, go the speed he felt like without worrying about being pulled over. He continued this until he got closer to the salvage yard.

Around 3 am, Ben grew too tired to drive, so he pulled off the side of road and parked the truck for the night. It was warm enough in this part of the country in May for him to sleep in the back seat of his truck, pulling a light blanket over himself. He had stopped at an all night diner a few hours ago for a bacon cheeseburger and fries, wishing he was of age to have a beer to go with his food. He almost reached for one as he climbed into the back seat, but he would save them for another time. He had enough money with him for a cheap motel room, but why spend it when he could sleep somewhere for free. It didn't take him long to fall asleep, the combination of the day and the fresh air making him very sleepy.

He awoke a few hours later to the sun beating on the side of his face from the windshield. He yawned and stretched, the blanket falling onto the floor. He slowly sat up, his back protesting with his sleeping arrangement. Hopefully he would only be sleeping like that another night or two and he would have answers about his father and clouded past.

He slowly got out of the back of the truck, still stretching. As he walked around to the other side of the truck that was parked in some weeds, he took his flannel off, leaving him in a dark green M*A*S*H shirt. He walked a few feet away from the truck so he was hidden from the road and peed, scratching his belly with one hand. As he tucked himself back in and walked back to the car, he looked up at the sky, guessing it was around 10 or 11 in the morning. When he got back into the front seat, he confirmed the time that it was a little after 10 am. He started the car back up, seeing that his phone was in need of a charge. He plugged the phone charger into the cigarette lighter after using the lighter for a smoke. Then he turned his music back on, "I Will Wait" by Mumford & Sons coming on. He rolled his windows down and pulled out of the weeds, flinging dirt and dust as he drove down the dirt road. He looked at the GPS to see he had a little over two hours to get to the salvage yard and his heart fluttered in his chest.

He found another diner as he passed down the main street of Sioux Falls. He decided it would be best to eat again so he wouldn't seem rude if the people at the yard did or didn't offer him food. Pulling into the parking lot around 12:30, it was quite crowded for a Sunday afternoon. Though, in a small town like this, people were probably just getting out of church and this was the only good place to eat. He finished off his current cigarette and then flipped the mirror down to fix his hair. Ya never know when ya could meet someone worth taking home.

As he walked into the diner, his dark brown, faded cowboy boots almost being heard clicking on the tile floor, a few people turned and looked at him. He just shrugged the gazes off and walked over to a free seat at the counter. He lazily picked up a menu and order some black coffee and a glass of water with lemon. After a few minutes, he put the menu down and ordered some eggs, over easy with toast and sausage. When the waitress brought his food back, he took notice to the girl and smiled. She had golden hair that glistened with the little bit of natural light coming into the diner. Her eyes were a crystal shade of blue that was offset by the heavy eyeliner she wore. Her cheeks had a natural rosy hue to them. Even though her eyes seemed to be heavy with hurt, he smile was genuine as she set his plate down. Her eyes lingered on his face a little longer and she almost looked confused.

"I know I ain't from 'round here, but I still thought sayin' thank you was the right thing to sa," he said with a bit of a laugh, trying to figure out her expression change.

She shook her head and her smile was replaced as she said in a deeper tone than he expected, "No, it is. Ya just remind me of someone."

He took a piece of toast and dipped it into the egg, casually shrugging, "Oh yeah? That's odd since I'm from Michigan."

"Just passin' through?" she asked, leaning on the counter. She was wearing a a dark grey shirt what hugged her round breasts. He could tell she was muscular herself, the short sleeves pulled tight over her arms. Around her neck she had a a silver chain with a pair of angel wings that hung down right between her breasts. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and she wore a black apron around her slim waist.

"Ya could say that," he said, pulling his eyes away from her chest and back up to her face. "But if stayin' means I get to see more of you." He finished with a smile. The girl, who looked to be about his age, maybe a year or two older, looked back at him and returned his smile.

She shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Who knows. I get off in a few hours and I ain't got nothin' to do tonight."

Ben smiled and watched her as she turned around and went back to work. He sat and ate in silence, feeling less nervous about the day. He found himself watching her from time to time and she would smile at him.

When he meal was done and she had handed him the check, he flipped it over to see she had written her name and number on the back. "Claire," he mumbled to himself with a smile as he stood up and paid for his meal, leaving her a generous tip.

As he walked back out to the truck, he pulled out pack of cigarettes to see he had only smoked three from the new pack. He stuck a new one between his lips and lit up, carefully tucking the pack and Claire's number into back pocket of his jeans. As he got behind the wheel, he could feel his nervousness return. He swallowed hard and took a long drag on his cancer stick as he started the car. With shaky hands, he griped the wheel and turned in the direction the GPS was pointing him.

The sight before him made his heart sink as he slowed the truck. Not only did the salvage yard look unloved and unkempt with weeds a mile high growing around the piles of rust, there wasn't anything by cars on the property. As he pulled under the "Singer's Salvage Yard" sign, his mouth dropped open at the scene of destruction before him. He stopped the truck and quickly got out, walking over to the charred remains of a house. Judging by the looks of it, the house had burnt down several years ago. He slowly knelt down, putting his face in his hands and sighing heavy. Whatever he was expecting to see, this was the furthest thing from it. He almost felt like crying.

"Now what?" he said to himself as he looked around at the mess before him. A few moldy, wrinkled pages of what used to be books flapped in the slight breeze. A piece of charred siding moved every now and then. A wind vain squeaked from the top of a barn. He slowly stood up, looking around the area. Other than sky high piles of rusting cars or a barn and shed, there really wasn't much to the property. He supposed he could just leave, but something was pulling him towards the barn. As he started to walk in that direction, he noticed a back part of the house that was untouched. It was a bit underground and made completely out of metal. It looks as though the rest of the house burnt around this strange, circular room. Ben slowly walked towards it, stepping over the splintered remains of house. He almost stumbled a few times as he got closer to the weird room. As he got closer, he saw that the door was buried. He sighed and began to pulling away at the remains as best as he could.

Ben continued this for the better part of an hour, his hands bleeding by the time the metal door was uncovered enough for him to open it. He went to grab for a handle and pulled hard, the door being much heavier than he expected. The door squeaked in protest as pulled. Just as he was about to look behind the door, he heard a gun cock behind him.

"Hold it right there!" a strong female voice said from behind him.

Ben swallowed hard and held his hands up, not turning around. He knew that tone too well and cursed under his breath. The cops back home were pushovers and he could talk himself out of just about anything, but how was he going to explain what he was doing now. He had seen the signs for private property and no trespassing, but chose to ignore them. What was he supposed to say? Oh yeah, I don't know who my dad is but I think he lived here.

"Turn around slowly," the voice behind him commanded.

Ben sighed and did as he was told, stumbling on the rubble under his feet. He looked up to see a sheriff pointing a pistol at him. Before he can say anything, she takes a few steps closer, pulling a metal flask out of her pocket. She splashes water on his face and he sputters, shocked, confused but feeling a little bit of relief as the cool liquid hits his sweaty face. She lowers her gun and looks down at him.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" she asked as Ben slowly lowers his arms.

"My name is Benjamin Braeden," he slowly says, trying to think of what to say to her second question.

"Ok, Benjamin Braeden, that doesn't answer both of my questions. You're on private property."

Ben began to move, trying to climb out of the pit he had made. She made no movements to stop him, so he continued until she no longer had to look down into a hole to see him. He went and leaned against his truck, trying to remain calm and collected when the opposite was going on inside. "I saw the signs, but I came to see the owner."

The sheriff watched him. Her expression softened at the end as he leaned against the truck. She looked down for a second and then back up at him, "The owner died five years ago."

Ben felt all the blood leave his face and his knees go weak. He leaned more on his truck to keep himself upright. Does that mean his father really was dead? Was he too late to meet the man? Ben looked down at the dirt on his boots and asked, "Did you know the owner?"

The sheriff nodded and smiled a sad sort of smile, "I knew Bobby quite well."

Ben's head shot up and he almost smiled. He ran a hand over his sweaty face as he tried to hide his misplaced excitement. He coughed and looked around, "Did he uh-ever have anyone workin' for 'em?"

Her brows wrinkled as she shifted from one foot to the other, "No, um, not really? I take it you were here looking for someone?"

Ben could tell with the pause she was hiding something. He tried to push her harder by saying, "Yeah, I am. Dean Winchester."

The relaxed position the sheriff had suddenly disappears. Her back becomes rigid as she stands up straight. The soft expression leaves and is replaced by one of concern and almost fear. She puts her hand back on her hip, right over her holster. Her eyes narrow as she asks, "Why?"

Ben feels himself tense. He watches her closely and feels his heart rate speed up again, the water being splashed in his face finally making sense. He had read that demons existed and that was what fueled part of his new tattoo. Before he said anything, he pulled the shirt slowly away from the fresh ink and watched the sheriff relax once again, her arms falling to her sides.

"If you're a hunter and you're lookin' for Dean, either he's in trouble or somethin' worse," she sighed.

"He's alive?" Ben rushed out, slowly putting his shirt back into place.

Her head shot up again with a confused look, "As far I knew he was." Ben leaned back against his truck and smiled, feeling hope flood his chest. "Why wouldn't he be and why wouldn't ya know this?"

Ben sighed, deciding to speak the truth aloud for the first time. "I think Dean Winchester is my father," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What?" the sheriff squeaked out and then began to pace. She quickly looked around as though someone was listening and then stepped closer to him. "I think ya better follow me to a safer place where we can talk about this. Follow behind me?"

Ben found himself nodding as she walked over to her police car. He walked around to get into his truck. He felt a sudden rush of excitement, but it was followed by apprehension and nervousness. As he left the yard, he couldn't help but wonder what was in that room.

He followed behind the sheriff for about a half hour to a cabin hidden in the woods. She directed him to park his truck beside her cruiser and the two of them got out. He looked over the simple home and then back at her, feeling more confused by the minute. Before she walked inside, she extended her hand and introduced herself as Jody. As they walked inside, he noticed a devil's trap hiding under a welcome mat. He bent to readjust the mat so it was hidden and then walked inside. Sitting at the window seat was Claire, her head buried in a book that looked to be quite old. She didn't even bother to look up from the book.

"Can I get ya somethin' to drink?" Jody asked as Ben continued to watch Claire.

He turned his attention to Jody after he realized she had said something. "What? Oh, I'd ask for a beer but drinkin' underage in front a cop is frowned upon." He chuckled at the end as he watched her disappear from the room.

"Well, hello there stranger," Claire said from behind him.

He turned around and smiled, looking her over again. She was still wearing the same clothes, but she looked more relaxed now. "Well, I guess I know where to pick ya up for our date," he joked as he walked over to lean against the wall to look down at her.

She smiled up at him, "I only go on dates with boys who I know their names."

The smile faded and was replaced with a blush for a second, "Oh yeah, I suppose that would help. I'm Ben." He half extended his hand.

She reached out and touched it, feeling little sparks of electricity when she touched his hand. Judging by the expression on Ben's face, he felt it too. She held onto his hand and smiled up at him, "Hi Ben."

He loved the feeling of her smooth, gently hand in his callused hand and found himself running his thumb over the back of her hand. The two stayed like this, just looking into each others eyes, until Ben felt a motherly hand on his shoulder. He coughed nervously and licked at his bottom lip as he dropped Claire's hand.

"I take it ya met Claire at work?" Jody asked as she handed him a beer.

He looks down at the bottle with a shocked expression. Even though he wasn't a big fan of Sam Addams, free beer was fee beer, and he wasn't going to say no, especially from a sheriff. "Uh, yeah," he finally said as Claire watched him with a pout.

"Oh sure, let the admitted underage drink in your house but if I do, ya'd think the damn apocalypse was gonna happen again," she says, playfully throwing her hands up in the air.

Ben chuckled as he brought the bottle to his lips and sipped. He liked her attitude. Not only could she throw a flirt right back out, she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself. So far, this trip was turning out to be a good idea.

"The boy needs one if what he told me is true," Jody sighed as she reached in her pocket. She looked between the two of them as she dialed a number on her phone. "Gimme a few to try and figure some things out. You two behave and keep your hands to yourself," she said, using a motherly tone at the end and pointing between the two of them.

Claire sighed dramatically and said as Jody left the living room area, "She never lets me have any fun."

Ben raises his eyebrow and smirks, "But she didn't say anythin' 'bout keepin' our lips to ourselves."

Claire had moved her book, giving Ben room to sit. He took the invitation and sat down beside her, taking another sip from his beer. He strained to hear Jody's conversation.

"What did Jody mean by that?" Claire asked, changing the mood in the room.

Ben sighed and licked his bottom lip again, Claire watching his tongue. He smiled and said, "I think she knows my dad."

Claire brought her gaze back up to his eyes, "Oh yeah? Well she is the sheriff of Sioux Falls, so she pretty much knows everyone here." Ben just shrugged, not sure if he wanted another over the top reaction to his secret that he wasn't even sure if it was true. "Who is he? Are ya in trouble? Is that why you're passin' through?"

Ben sighed and took a long swig, "Dean Winchester." He looked at Claire.

Just like Jody, her face paled,but was quickly replaced by a smile and a chuckle. "Good Lord, I figured that man whore always used a condom," she said before she could stop herself. Then she blushed once she realized what she had said. "Oh no, I'm sorry."

Ben kind of appreciated the honest reaction from her. He shrugged his shoulders, "I know nothin' 'bout the man so ya ain't offendin' me. Good to know he doesn't have any attachments."

"He may have one now. Word's goin' 'round that him and my dad," she paused to do air quotes, "May finally be together," she ended with a smile and saw how confused and shocked Ben was.

"Ok, good to know I share my bi-sexuality with him," he mumbled aloud.

"Took 'em awhile to be comfortable with it. Fought it for eight fuckin' years. It's bad enough when me, the daughter of Castiel's vessel can even seen how madly in love and stubborn they are the few times I've met up with 'em."

"Wait! You know Dean?" Ben asked quickly.

Claire nodded, "But I haven't talked to him in 'bout a year. Neither one of us are good with that whole keepin' in touch thing." She rolled her eyes.

Something was very intriguing about Claire to Ben. He found himself being drown to her every movement and he wasn't sure if it was because of her knowledge or her carefree spirit, but he was beginning to hang on her every word. "How old are you?" he asked softly.

"Twenty," she said, trying to follow his train of thought. "I've known of Dean for about eight years but never really got to know the guy. He's a legend amoungst Hunters. Hell, all of the Winchesters are."

Ben smiled at this, feeling a sudden rush of pride wash over him. Maybe his dad really wasn't as bad as the police records paint him to be. Maybe there was a whole other side to him that Ben had yet to uncover. He took another drink, "All I know 'bout the man is his police record and a box of his stuff. I think he was in my life for awhile, but I don't remember it at all." He looked away from Claire and towards the rest of the spacious room, not really focusing on anything. "Judgin' by the pictures I have of us, I would've been 'round eleven or twelve when he left."

Claire began to feel confused. Why wouldn't Ben remember him. Why hadn't Dean ever talked about him. Hell, she even went through his wallet once and never once saw any pictures. She was sure if Dean really did have a kid that he would have at least hidden a picture in his wallet, or his car, but she had never seen this kid before in her life. "How old are you?" she asked, trying to figure out where and why Dean would have hidden him.

"I'll be eighteen in a few days," he said, almost sounding sad.

Claire ignored that fact and focused more on doing the math of when Dean would have been a part of his life. With herself being a new Hunter, she was still trying to get all of the gossip of the Winchesters and their world-saving missions in order. She began to think aloud as she said, "That would've been 2011, the year they stopped the apocalypse and Sam went to Hell. Rumor had it, Dean took off a year" She looked over at Ben, who was watching her. Before she could say anything else, Jody walked back into the room.

"Ben, how do you feel about staying with us for a few days?" Jody asked, looking at him.


	4. Into the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Ben get to know each other a little better. Ben likes what he sees. Castiel and Dean make up. Dean prepares for his trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a week to post this. I got sick with a nasty head cold, along with my gramma being in the hospital 45 minutes away. It was a busy week. Anyhow, here's a new update

Ben felt his mouth open a little as he looked between Jody and Claire. He wasn't sure which one to respond to first. Had Claire just basically confirmed that this Dean Winchester had been a part of his life? Why didn't he remember Dean? Why did Claire seem to know more about him than he did?

"Ben?" Jody asked, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. This caused him to jump a little, which didn't help his already racing heart.

"I uh, think I need a smoke," he whispered and slowly stood up. He wasn't sure if his legs were going to support him, but he made out the front door with little protest from his body.

He walked over to his truck so he was far enough away from the house that his smoke wouldn't waft inside. Pulling the crushed pack of cigarettes from his back pocket, he pulled one out and then pulled out a sliver zippo lighter he had found in the box of Dean's things and lit up. After a few shaky drags, he could feel his nerves calming. After the third puff, he was able to open his eyes that he hadn't realized he shut and look down at the scuffed toe of his boot. As he continued to slowly smoke, he heard the door open and close and a pair of boots crunching gravel. Wanting to be alone for a few more minutes, he sighed and looked up to see Claire walking towards him, her wavy blonde hair bouncing, along with her chest, with each step she took.

"Gimme one?" she asked, looking at the smoking cigarette in his mouth.

Without really thinking, grabbed the pack that he had set on the hood of the truck and extended it towards her. When she reached out and took it, their hands touched for a second time and he found himself taking longer than he should have to pull away. Even though he was still a little freaked out, something about her was intriguing to him.

Claire took one of the cigarettes and put it between her rose pink lips. Ben flicked open the zippo, letting the flame flicker a moment before he extended it towards her. She leaned into his movement and waited to pull back until it was lit. Ben watched her as she closed her eyes and took a slow drag, the corners of her small mouth pulling up in a smile. He liked that smile. He wanted to see more of that smile. If he had to stick around for a couple of days, that would be fine with him, as long as he could see more of that smile.

Claire opened her eyes and pulled the cigarette out of her mouth, pinching it between her two fingers, and looked at the smoking end. "Thanks. I haven't had one in a few days. Been tryin' to quit, but what the hell. Free is free," she said in a matter-of-fact tone and leaned against the truck beside him, their arms brushing together.

Ben just shrugged, feeling her bare arm against his, making the hairs on his arm stand on end. After a few more drags, he finally asked as calmly as he could, "So, I'm supposed to stay here till my da-Dean gets here?"

Claire looked up at him, noticing there was at least a foot in height difference and shrugged her shoulders, "I mean, ya can if ya want. Knowin' how fast Dean drives, he'll be here in a few hours. I'm sure he's panickin' just as much as you."

"Well, that's good to know," Ben mumbled, the half-smoked cigarette bobbing on his lips with each word.

"So, I can think of a few ways to pass the time," she said, raising her eyebrow and smiling.

Ben raised his brow is return and cocked his head to the side, feeling more and more comfortable with her, he chided "Oh yeah? I'm not sure I'm ready to let an older lady take advantage of a helpless bastard."

Claire shook her head and looked away from him, snuffing her cigarette out on the tire of the truck and grabbed his hand. He looked down at their entwined hands and felt all the blood rush to his face. It had been awhile since he'd had any human contact other than his mother. Before he could protest, she was pulling him away from the cabin and into the woods.

"Where are we goin'?" he asked, following in her footsteps.

They we walking down a worn path that was covered with dead leaves and dirt. The branches of the trees and bushes were trimmed back just enough that they didn't snag. Birds were chirping overhead, along with chipmunks. The only other sounds were of their feet crunching. As they walked further into the woods, the sun was growing harder to see, peaking through the leaves of the trees overhead. The few rays of sunshine, when they would hit Claire's hair, made it shine as bright as gold and he could see her natural highlights shine through. He found himself smiling at that, along with the way her butt wiggled in her tight jeans as she kept a steady pace in front of him.

"Some place better than the cabin or your truck," she called over her shoulder as he began to hear running water.

He smiled and continued to walk behind her. He was falling a little more for him as he began to feel her excitement for being outside. As the water sound grew more intense, he began to wish he had grabbed his fishing pole and tackle box. That was one thing he never left home without because you never knew when the opportunity to fish would arise.

Just as quickly as she had begun to walk while holding his hand, she dropped it and stopped walking, letting Ben take in the little break in the trees before him. A decent sized river ran swiftly in front of him and was covered in sunshine. The water splashed over a few rocks here and there. The sounds of the chipmunks were almost drowned out by the water. He was smiling as he finished his cigarette and put the butt in his pocket so not to litter the ground.

"This is better than sittin' inside, twiddlin' our thumbs?" she asked as she walked over to a tree that had fallen across the river. She sat down on the edge closet to the bank, took her shoes and socks off, rolled her jeans up and then scooted over on the log so there was room for another person and so she could dip her feet in the cool water.

Ben chuckled and walked over to sit next to her, keeping his feet on the bank. "Anythin' better than bein' inside." He turned so he could look at Claire, who was moving her legs back and forth, smiling down at the water. "This place good to fish?"

She shrugged her shoulders and then tucked her hands under her thighs, bracing herself on the log as she made her feet splash the water, "Never got into fishin'."

Ben playfully gasped and shoved her a little bit, "What? I don't believe that."

She splashed some water towards him, but missed. "Believe it or not, I didn't always used to be an outdoor girl who cusses like a sailor, smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish when she gets the opportunity," she started to explain, looking at Ben. "My dad used to be a uh-an important member of a church community. I used to actually give a fuck 'bout my grades and keepin' the holier than thou appearance. Once upon a time, all I wore were frilly skirts in pastels and always had my hair looking nice and wore light makeup."

Ben looked her over and laughed, "I can't picture that." When she didn't say anything, he looked her over again and slowly smiled, "I'm glad ya changed. You're much prettier this way."

Claire blushed and looked down at the water. It wasn't very often someone sincerely told her she was pretty. Damn it, if this Ben Braeden wasn't growing on her. She was beginning to hope he stuck around a few more days.

"So, how didja find this place?" he asked.

Claire pulled one hand free and tucked some of her hair back behind her ear. She then set her hand down on the log, between the two of them. Ben placed his hand on hers and gently squeezed. She felt her heart jump and smiled down at their hands, monetarily forgetting what he had asked. She blinked and cleared her throat, giving herself time to recall his question. "Oh, um- do you mean this place like the river or this place like the cabin?"

"Both, I suppose," he responded, rubbing his thumb across the side of her hand. He found that he couldn't stop touching her and wanted to touch more, but would keep it light.

"Well, I guess Jody has lived her for awhile. She sorta took Alex and I in when things went south in our lives. As for the river, I got bored one day and happened to come across it," she casually explained, moving a little closer to him.

"Jody isn't your mom?" Ben asked, noticing she was getting closer, close enough to wrap an arm around if he moved his legs off of the bank.

She shook her head, some of her hair falling into her face. Ben let go of her hand and reached out to tuck her hair back into place. He felt his heart began ti race as he cupped her face with his calloused hand, her skin feeling so soft. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. The peaceful look on her face melted his heart and he leaned in, gently placing his lips upon hers. He felt her gasp and then slowly start to kiss back, her small tongue pressing against his chapped lips. He parted his lips slightly and felt her fill his mouth, a smoky and sweet taste filling him. He kept his hand on her face as he kissed her back deeper, battling with her tongue and causing a soft moan to escape her lips. He pulled back and looked at her. She slowly opened her lust-blown eyes and chewed on her bottom lip.

"I don't wanna lead ya on," he whispered, pulling his hand away. "I don't know how long I'm gonna be in town."

She looked down at the water and mumbled, "Good to know ya ain't a womanizer."

He chuckled and pulled his pack of smokes out, tapping the base in the palm of his hand a few times. "I may look like one, but my momma raised me better," he said as he put a cigarette between his lips. He offered one to Claire, but she declined.

"If Dean really is your dad, he'll be impressed. Word is he's an easy lay," Claire said as she played with the end of her hair.

He flicked open the lighter and puffed a few times until the end was glowing orange and then tucked both the lighter and pack back in his pocket. After a drag, he asked with the cigarette in his mouth, "Why do ya know so much about Dean?"

"I've work with him a few times and he set me up with a place to live," she said, looking over at him. "He really is a good guy. One of the few good guys in this messed up world."

"That's good to know," Ben said as he kicked at a stick with the toe of his boot. He looked her over again, feeling a little more impressed by her. "You're a hunter, too?"

"Yeah. For 'bout two years now. I don't go out often since Jody has a cow every time I do, but if somethin' comes up local, I'm one of the first on the job. It helps havin' a cop as a makeshift mom. Makes gettin' the fake id's and shit easier," Claire explained, splashing around in the water again.

Ben felt himself gape. To cover it up, he took a long drag. "I'm new to the game. Don't have none of that. Haven't even hunted anythin' yet. Just saw in Dean's box of stuff, along with the iron, rock salt rounds and silver knife and though I should find out a little bit as to why he left us all of that."

Claire's head shot up. "He lived with ya?"

Ben shrugged and flicked some of the ashes off the end, leaving his hand to rest on the edge of the log, "Yeah, I guess. I don't remember him bein' there, but there's a box in the truck that says otherwise."

"Huh," was all she said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Dean say Jody Mills on the caller id, he knew the conversation wasn't going to go well. She was either calling to tell him someone he loved died or she needed more help than Claire could provide. The true reason for the call floored him. As soon as Jody said a boy who looked like him with darker hair and about twenty years younger was standing in her living room, he knew the conversation was going to go south, but he never expected this.

"Heh, the kid's a good tracker," he mumbled as a first response to Jody.

"You knew he existed?" she practically yelled at him.

Lucky for Dean, he was alone in the garage, giving Baby a fresh coat of wax. He sat down on his stool, feeling like this conversation was far from over and sighed, "Yeah, I did." He wanted to leave it at that. He didn't want another person, a woman whom he viewed like a mother, to be disappointed in him.

"That's all the more information you're gonna give me?" she asked, sounding skeptical.

He didn't say anything at first. He just looked down at the rag in his hand, turning it over and over. "I know he's my son," Dean finally said, in a whisper.

"I feel like there's a but comin'."

"There is, but I don't wanna talk 'bout it. At least, not over the phone. I'm guessin' he's at your place?"

"Uh uh."

Dean stood up, "I'll be there by dinner." He hung up the phone and walked into the Bunker to grab pack a bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where are you going?" Castiel asked from the doorway of Dean's room.

Dean had a duffle bag sitting on the bed and was shoving a week's worth of clothes into the bag. He wasn't going to say anything to anyone, especially not Castiel. The two were still barely talking since their fight. Dean wasn't sure if that was because of Cass still being disgusted by him or Dean being unable to swallow his pride and admit he did something wrong vocally. Either way, the men hardly had seen much of each other for the last three days, which was making Dean angrier by the minute.

"Oh, now ya care 'bout me," he grumbled, tossing underwear into the bag.

"Dean, I never stopped caring about you," Castiel's voice said from behind him.

Dean stood up and looked at the man that was standing in front of him. Today he was wearing a pair of light blue jeans and a pastel purple with little green stripes button shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and three buttons where undone, allowing a little bit of dark chest hair to peak out. Dean licked his bottom lip, missing the feeling of the angel in front of him.

"So, where are you going?" Castiel asked, looking past his boyfriend to the almost packed bag.

Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Ben found Jody and I'm sure he found Claire," he grumbled, looking down at the ground.

"You were going to leave without saying goodbye to me?" Castiel asked, his blue eyes full of hurt.

"Oh babe," Dean sighed and reached out to touch Cass's arm. He pulled his body away and Dean dropped his hand, feeling like he had just be punched in the chest. "I don't know what I'm doin'."

"I can see that. You seem to have very little faith in me these days. Maybe I should be the one to leave."

Dean grabbed a hold of of Castiel by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug, frantically. "Don't you dare leave me," he hissed as he slowly felt Castiel begin to hug back. Dean turned his head and kissed his neck, "I'm so hurt, and lost and scared. I know what I asked ya to do was wrong and I'm really beginnin' to regret it." He pushed away from Castiel, but didn't let go of him. "I'm goin' to fix this mess. Answer any and all questions Ben has."

Castiel brought an arm up to cup Dean's cheek. Dean closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. "I'm proud of you. This is the right thing to do. Shall I too, pack a bag?"

Dean opened his eyes and smiled, feeling like things were beginning to get right between the two of them. As much as he wanted to nod yes, he shook his head, "I gotta do this one on my own, babe. I don't know how much Ben knows 'bout my life and I don't wanna freak 'em out by lettin' 'em know right away his estranged father is datin' an angel."

"I would let you tell him what you wish to disclose."

Dean chuckled and kissed his cheek, "Babe, Claire, Jody and Alex all know what ya are. I'm not gonna ask anyone to lie to that poor kid. I'm done lyin' to 'em."

Castiel pulled him in for a kiss. Dean was surprised at first but quickly kissed back, moaning against the set of soft lips, missing the feeling. Castiel began to kiss back and then pulled away abruptly, "Darling, if you continue to kiss me like that, Ben will not get to know his father tonight." Dean growled and tried to kiss Castiel again, feeling himself grow hard at the mere mention of a good time. Castiel pressed against his chest, "Go, now. I'll be waiting for your return. Shall I inform your mother and Sam of your departure?"

Dean shook his head and turned back to the bag, zipping it up, "Naw, I'll tell 'em on my way out." He turned back to Cass and quickly kissed his lips, "Thanks for not givin' up on me, sweetheart."

Castiel smiled and smacked his ass as Dean gathered his bag and left the room. He giggled at the surprised yelp and watched Dean leave.

Dean walked into the tv room of the Bunker, where he could hear his mom and Sam bickering over which Back to the Future movie was better and why. He chuckled and walked into the room, silencing the conversation. Before they could ask, Dean announced, "Ben found Jody. I've got some 'splainin' to do and I don't wanna do it over the phone. Be back in a few days." Then he turned and left before either of them could say anything. He couldn't take having to tell more family that he had to do this one alone. He didn't want to explain to Ben about his father dating an angel and having a mother who recently came back from the grave.

Dean got on the road a little over an hour later, until he drove to the nearest gas station to fill up and grab snacks for the ride. He decided this was a good time to pull out an old cassette tape of Bad Company and blare the music, enjoying having the windows down and driving the back roads at a much faster speed than was recommended. After an hour of singing, Dean began to think about what he would say to Ben and began to get nervous. He really couldn't come right out and explain to him the things under your bed were real. He tried so hard to protect his son from that and now he was expected to tear all of that down? how would he react to finding out Dean had his memory wiped? Dean sighed loudly and hoped that Ben would do most of the talking and he could skirt around the truth, maybe leave a few things out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was beginning to set. Claire and Ben had been by the river for the rest of the afternoon. After their brief make out session, conversation had faded away. Occasionally a question, but neither one of them wanted to address the elephant in the room.

"We should probably head back," Claire announced into the silence as a chill fell over the two of them. The sun was beginning to set behind the trees and soon they would be left int he dark. She pulled on her sneakers without her socks and waited for Ben to stand up.

He nodded his head and pulled his fourth cigarette away from his lips as she got closer to kiss her cheek. "Thanks for an interestin' afternoon."

She smiled up at him, wanting more than just a kiss on the cheek, but not taking it. She didn't want to get hung up on a Winchester. She heard nothing good ever comes from it. When Ben finally stood up, she walked past him and led the way back to the cabin.

On the walk back, she bummed another cigarette. This allowed her to take her time getting back. Ben had reached for her hand and held it most of the walk back. She could feel him begin to tense as they got closer. She stopped walking on the edge of woods and turned back to see him. Shadows were dancing across his face. His last cigarette had long since been put out. "We don't have to go back yet if your not ready."

He continued to hold her hand and looked down at her and smiled. Man, he could easily fall for this girl. He looked past her at the glow of the cabin and saw an extra vehicle shown up in the front yard, a black Impala. He recognized the car from pictures in the box and sighed. He looked back down at Claire, "I don't think we have much of a choice."

Claire turned around to look and swore under her breath. She turned back around, stood up on her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss onto his lips. "A kiss for good luck," she said with a smile.

"What am I, Irish?" he grumbled as he felt her hand leave his. He almost pouted as she walked away.

He walked a few paces behind her, watching her butt wiggle again and hiding a smile. He really wasn't ready to walk in there yet. He almost darted, but Claire was already at the door, holding it open for him. He took a deep breathe and walked forward, grabbing the door. She walked into the room and towards the living room. Ben stayed hidden in the doorway as he head Claire say hello to someone and a deep, gruff voice greeted her. Then he heard heavy booted footsteps coming towards him. A few seconds later, a man who appeared to be in his late thirties with a hairstyle very similar to his was standing in front of him. Ben began to sweat and felt his mouth go dry.

"Let's go outside an' talk," Dean said, handing him a cold beer bottle.

Ben accepted the bottle and turned around. He heard the door close behind him and let the man take the lead. He walked right up to his truck and looked it over in the dim light, nodding appreciatively. Ben followed behind him, taking a sip of his beer.

"Nice truck," Dean said and then turned back around to Ben, looking him over.

"Are ya-"Ben started at a whisper. He coughed and cleared his throat. "Are ya Dean Winchester?"

Dean nodded and took a sip of his beer, "That I am."

Ben switched hands with his beer and then extended his free hand. Dean reached out and clasped it, his hand feeling every bit as calloused as his and firmly shook it. "Ya know who I am," Ben said after his hand was returned to his side.

"That I do," Dean agreed and leaned against the side of the truck, crossing his arms and legs.

Ben sighed and crossed his arms, looking him over. Even in the poor lighting, Ben could tell they looked alike. More so now than they did in the old pictures. He took another sip of his beer, waiting for him to say something.

Dean noticed this and took his cue. He sighed and licked his bottom lip. "I'll answer any question ya have. From what I understand, ya know what I do for a livin', so I guess I don't need to hold too much back."

Ben nodded his head and took another sip, not really sure where to begin. The two stayed silent for a few minutes, just sipping at their beers. This continued until Jody called them into dinner.


	5. Awkward Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Ben, Jody and Alex all sit down to dinner. Jody sends the girls out so Ben and Dean can get down to business and ask the tough questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so fricken long to write this chapter. I was really struggling with how I wanted this to go; what Dean would say to Ben when Ben began to ask personal questions. Much like Dean in this chapter, I wanted to bolt.

Dean waited an extra minute to walk back inside. He stood on the porch, his hand on the door handle, half afraid and half upset. He wanted more time alone with his son, but he really don't know how to approach the situation. He almost wanted to bail. He actually did turn around and take a step towards Baby, but he heard Jody's shrill yell, calling him to the table. He sighed, licked his bottom lip and then walked into the house.

He could see the table from doorway and almost smiled at the domestic scene before him. Three women of varying ages and a kid that looked exactly like him. He would be lying if he said he missed Jody and Claire. He didn't really know Alex, so he couldn't say one way or another. He definitely missed Ben, more than he could ever say. 

 

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," Claire chided, waiting for Dean to move from the doorway. She couldn't begin to understand what Dean was going through. In truth, she really didn't understand the whole situation. As much as she had wanted to push Ben further to talk about his past, she didn't push.

Dean chuckled and rubbed at the back of his neck, feeling the room fill with tension. He really didn't want to sit down to a family meal, but maybe Jody would be able to get the ball rolling with starting this awkward conversation. He dropped his hand and walked over to the empty chair between Claire and Jody. As he sat down, a fresh beer was set on the table in front of him. He smiled and graciously accepted it, taking a long swig. A big bowl of spaghetti was being passed around. He looked up to see he was sitting across from Ben. The two just locked eyes, unmoving. 

Dean really began to look at Ben. Their cheekbones were similar, along with the splattering of freckles across their noses and cheeks. Ben had lost all of his boyish chub from and had turned into a lean and lanky man. A bit of a heartbreaker, Dean figured by the way he had been carrying himself as he walked out of the woods with Claire. He didn't seem to be dressed too fancy, a pair of worn jeans and army green shirt. His hair was longer than his and slicked back. Dean wasn't sure if Ben used some product or if that was just natural grease. 

"Dean?" Jody asked gently, bringing Dean out of his head. He looked to her as she tried to hand him the bowl. "Not hungry?"

Dean shook his head and then chuckled, "When have I ever not been hungry?" He took the bowl. Being the last one to get a turn, he helped himself to a big pile of pasta and then set the bowl down in the middle of the table. He stabbed his fork at the pile of noodles and began twirling as Alex and Claire fell into a steady chatter about their day. Jody and Ben remained silent. Ben was looking at the half empty bottle in front of him and Jody was munching away, peacefully, watching everyone at the table.

After everyone was just about done eating, Jody turned to Alex and said, "Wanna go get the dessert?" 

Alex nodded her head and stood up. "Dean, do ya need another beer?" she called from the kitchen.

Dean looked at his half empty bottle and then to Ben's empty bottle. "Sure, but make it two."

"Make it three," Jody called over her shoulder. Then she looked to Claire, but said loud enough for Alex to hear as well, "After dessert, I think you girls have some chores or somethin' to do." She ended with a nod.

As Alex set the pie plate on the table and then the bottles, she shrugged her shoulders, "I could go into town and get some stuff."

Claire sighed and looked at the peach pie in front of her, "Guess I don't have much of a choice."

Ben chuckled and watched as Alex cut the first slice, his mouth watering.

"Yum, beer and pie, two of my favorite things in the world," Dean announced as he got the first slice. 

This made Ben chuckle a little louder, "Mine two."

Dean smiled, partly from the sweet taste of the pie and partly from finding at least one thing in common with his son. He continued to smile as he finished off his slice of pie. Ben focused on his slice in front of him and slowly enjoyed the slice, finishing around the time as Dean. 

Jody chuckled at the two of them and stood up, beginning to clear the table for the girls to do the dishes. "Like father, like son," she mumbled under her breathe as she walked into the kitchen. Alex and Claire stood up and followed her, carrying more dishes, leaving Ben and Dean at the table to stare at each other.

Dean reached for his bottle and took a swig, rocking back on his chair. "So,", he began, crossing his arms.

"Yeah?" Ben asked, looking between Dean and the back of Claire, trying not to smile.

Dean turned and watched his gaze and then looked back at Ben, chuckling to himself, "So, that's what was goin' on in the woods?"

Ben blushed and quickly looked away, the freckles standing out on his face. "What? No!" his voice cracked, making Dean chuckle.

"She's a good kid," Dean said as he took another sip.

Jody came back over to the table and hit Dean on the back of the head. "No rockin' back in the chair," she sternly said, in her mom voice.

Dean rubbed at the back of his head and leaned forward, the chair legs hitting the floor hard. Ben watched them curiously. Jody seemed to know Dean on a more personal level than just some guy passing by who happened to know Claire.

"She your mom?" Ben asked after she walked back out of earshot. 

Dean rested an elbow on the table and began to eat some more of pie, straight out of the pan. He looked up and shook his head, "But she was the closest thing I had to one for a few years."

Ben took a swig of his beer and picked up his fork, moving closer to the table, "Oh yeah?"

Dean sighed and played with his fork in the pie pan. "My mom died when I was young," he began, trying to decide how to explain that she was alive.

"Oh, that sucks. I was raised by a single parent, too," Ben said, trying to reassure the man sitting across from him. With each minute that passed, he could feel himself warming up to Dean. The more Dean said, the more he felt like a wall inside of him was breaking.

"Yeah, I've had a pretty hard life, but it is what it is," Dean said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"When are ya gonna talk 'bout the elephant in the room?" Claire asked as she passed by the two on her way back the hall. She stopped behind Ben and almost reached her hand out to rest it on his shoulder. She could feel herself falling for him and she didn't want to. She had heard that the Winchesters aren't very lucky in the love department, though Dean and Castiel seemed to be okay. 

 

Dean coughed nervously and Ben shifted in his chair. The two of them licked their lips uncomfortably at the same time, neither one noticing this happened. Neither of them spoke. Ben grabbed his bottle and took a long sip, while Dean nervously ran his hands over his face.

"Do you remember anything, Ben?" Dean asked, his voice shaking and barely above a whisper.

Ben set his bottle down and looked down at the wooden table that appeared to be handmade. He wrinkled his brows and sighed, trying to think back to 2008. "The only major memory I have of my childhood is Mom gettin' in a bad accident and her having to spend a few days in the hospital. The doctors said she came in in real bad shape. Said she may not make it, but within twenty-four hours, she made a full recovery." He paused and looked up to see Dean wasn't looking directly at him, but rather, over his shoulder. His greens eyes were shining in the dimly lit room and he kept swallowing hard every few seconds. Ben looked back down as he began to wring his hands, feeling more uncomfortable. He was beginning to feel like Dean was the man with the box, but there was a whole lot more to the story, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to hear the story.

"I'm so sorry, Ben," Dean whispered, making eye contact.

"I think I should leave," Claire mumbled uncomfortably as Alex walked out. She followed behind her.

"Why are you sorry? It's not like you were the one with the car accident?" Ben said, finishing in a questioning tone.

Dean looked away and shrugged his shoulders slowly, "I sorta was." He looked back to Ben, waiting for Ben to understand what he was trying to say. This really wasn't how Dean wanted the conversation to start out. 

"I don't understand," Ben finally said after several seconds of silence, the only noise was a fire crackling and Jody moving about back the hall on squeaky floorboards.

"It wasn't a car accident, Ben. You and your mom were kidnapped and beaten by demons," Dean started to explain, gaining more courage as he went on. He was still trying to convince himself that what he did was right and just. 

 

"Demons, huh?" Ben asked, sounding calmer than he felt. He was really getting nervous and upset that he couldn't remember any of this, though he could almost feel like something dark and far back in his mind was trying to come forward.

 

"It's my fault you and your mom were kidnapped. I thought I could leave you two alone and never look back. I thought my leaving would keep you guys safe," Dean rushed out.

 

"So, you were livin' with us for awhile?" Ben interrupted. 

 

Dean took a deep breath and nodded his head. He waited for Ben to ask anything else.

"Why didja leave us in the first place?"

 

Dean took a sip of his beer and tried to relax. Ben's tone didn't seem too harsh, which helped ease Dean's fears. He licked his lip and then sighed, "I was gettin' too protective of you two. When we moved, I wouldn't let you go out and play or your mom get a job, in fear of someone or somethin' trackin' you two and hurtin' you."

Ben took a minute to think. He could almost remember moving. He could remember being in the garage of his new house, unopened boxes all around him and all he wanted to do was go out and make new friends. He could remember being scolded for this and being told to help his mom unpack the kitchen. He looked up and focused on Dean and gasped. "It was you," he whispered, half afraid and half excited.

"What was me?" Dean asked, trying not to mistake Ben's tone or expression. He didn't think he was of the hook, yet.

"In the garage, helping us move in. It was you that yelled at me for wanting to go out and explore the neighborhood," Ben explained, his eyes darting around the room as more memories came flooding in. "It was you who told me to leave the Impala, the same one parked outside," he motioned to the door. "Alone and not touch the stockpile of weapons in the trunk."

"Sounds like progress in here," Jody said from the edge of the kitchen, cheerfully.

Dean looked back to her and mumbled, "Sounds like the wall is crumblin' down." He was beginning to get nervous. The only other time he had seen a wall in someone's memory break down was with Sam, which caused Lucifer to take up residence in his brother's mind. Dean didn't think something that drastic would happen with Ben, but he was still very nervous. Nothing has ever been a simple fix with him. Conversations alone never seemed to cure his problems, but that seemed to be the case thus far.

"A wall? In my mind?" Ben asked as he casually took a sip of his beer. Just when he thought he was beginning to get a grasp on himself and what Dean was trying to tell him, something new was being thrown at him. He could tell this was going to be a long night.

"Yeah. I had Castiel," Dean paused, wanting to explain further who Cass really was to him, but he didn't have enough time in the day and wasn't quite ready to tell Ben he was bi-sexual and in a very serious relationship, so he just settled on saying, "an angel, heal you and your mom and then put a wall up in your minds so you two couldn't remember me."

"And ya did this to protect us?" Ben asked, feeling a little more confused, but still tryig to understand. "I'm new to all of this, so I'm still tryin' to figure out what's really out there. But an angel? Touched me?" He chuckled to himself. "Does that make me elligable to go on Touched by an Angel?" he broke out in a full laugh, which caused Dean to laugh a little. The two continued to laugh for several minutes.

"So, does this make ya my dad then?" Ben asked after the laughter had died down.

Dean grew nervous all over again. He wanted to lie, wanted to dart without answering him. He could make up some excuse to leave the room, to continue to avoid the question.

"Dean?" Jody asked, shaking Dean out of his panic.

Dean took a deep breath and looked up at Ben, staring directly at him. He nodded his head, "I really think I am, but it was never tested. I mean, ya look a lot like me."

Ben couldn't help himself, he smiled. He felt like a weight had been lifted and he could really breathe for the first time in months. This was the best news he had heard in months. He almost couldn't believe that his quest had been this simple. He still felt like there was a lot more to find out and try to remember, but just knowing he knew who his father was... The rest could wait for a couple of days. He kept smiling and looked at Dean in anew light. He could tell he was still very nervous, but he had no reason to be. "Thank you," Ben said, making Dean's head shoot up.

"For what? I was a dick. Probably one of the most shellfish things I've ever done," Dean explained, kicking himself harder than Ben ever could.

"If ya where, I have yet to come to understand why. If ya did it to protect Mom and I, I believe ya. So far, ya haven't given me reason not to," Ben said, finishing off his second beer.

"You're too forgivin'," Dean whispered and looked away.

"No, Dean, you're too hard on yourself. Ya always have been," Jody sternly said, bringing both of their attention's to him. "Let the kid be happy he found his dad."

Dean sighed and finished off his beer and leaned back, stretching his stiff muscles. Ben's smile started to fade, but he could still tell he was at ease. 

"I'd like to get to know you more," Ben said. "Maybe work a case with ya."

Dean's fist firmly hit the table, ratting the empty bottles and he practically yelled, "No hunting."

Ben and Jody flinched and looked between each other. Jody shrugged and daringly said, "I can understand ya not wantin' him to hunt without trainin', but you and I both know we could use all the extra hands we can get."

Dean flipped his head at Jody and stared daggers at her as he bitterly said, "Too much of a weakness. It's bad enough monsters are startin' to find out 'bout Mom. They already know Sam and Cass are weakeness. Throw a kid on top of it? What's next?"

"Dean? Dad? Can I call ya Dad?" Ben started, bringing Dean's attention to him. When Dean didn't say anything, Ben continued, "I'm a grown man. I've been takin' care of Mom and I for years. As ya can tell by my face, I can take a hit, whether it's from a fist or a football. Please don't try and shelter me."

"This is why I wiped your memory! I didn't wantcha to turn into a-a hunter!" Dean yelled, putting his palms on flat on the table and pushing up.

"Dean," Jody started, looking up at Dean who was now standing and breathing quickly. He looked down at her, his chest rising and falling quickly. "Ben's right, he's grown and he's beginnin' to find out about the lifestyle. I wasn't happy at first when Claire told me she was gonna start huntin'."

"This is different!" Dean yelled as he began to pace, not wanting to hear anything either of them had to say.

"How so?" Jody asked, standing up. "Look, it's alright to be a protective parent, but wouldn't ya rather Ben be protected for if somethin' ever happens again?" Dean stopped walking, Jody's words sinking in. He sighed and crossed his arms. She half smiled and continued, "Why don'tcha take Ben and Claire back to the bunker? Claire hasn't been on a case in awhile, so I'm sure she's a little rusty. Plus, it would probably be good for Ben to have a rather familiar face to look at."

Ben blushed and looked down at his hands, hoping he was reading into what Jody was implying.

"There's a lot more than needs to be explained to him, to Cass and to Mom before that could happen," Dean tried to explain.

"Sounds like more excuses to me," Jody said, putting a hand on her hip. Dean stuttered for a few seconds. "Car ride back is a few hours long. That's plenty of time to explain whatever ya think needs to be said."

"We both need to drive."

Jody sighed and slapped Dean on the back of the head, "Stop makin' excuses. Just spend time with your kid. Figure this out."

Dean rubbed at the back of his head and watched Jody walk out of the room. He looked back to Ben.

"What's the bunker?" he asked, trying to not sound as disappointed as he felt. Just found out he has a dad and he's already trying to bail on him.

"Where your uncle, grandmother and uh," Dean looked away and felt his cheeks heat. "And my boyfriend all live," he whispered. "It's in Kansas," he rushed out.

"Boyfriend, huh?" Ben asked curiously. He looked Dean over again and then shrugged, "Whatever. We can't choose who we fall in love with, right?" 

Dean looked up from the floor and shrugged his shoulders. "Guess not."

"Anyhow, the bunker... Sounds like a good idea. I'd like to meet more of my family."

"Lemme explain a few more things to ya. Give ya a chance to catch up and then we'll see if ya still wanna meet them," Dean said.

Ben shrugged his shoulders as Jody walked out and into the living room, her arms full of blankets. "Someone can take the couch and the other can take the floor." She looked at Ben, "No boys in the girl's beds." Ben blushed and Dean chuckled.

"Sleep sounds like a good idea," Ben quickly said and darted towards the pile of blankets being laid on the floor.

Dean laughed harder and mumbled, "Like father, like son." He slowly walked over to the couch, still feeling upset about the whole thing, but it seemed like his hands were tied. 

"Goodnight, boys," Jody said as she turned off the kitchen and dining room lights.


	6. And the Walls Come Tumblin' Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben calls home wnd tries to explain what had happened to him in the past 24 hours.

It had taken Ben a little bit to fall asleep on the floor. He felt like he would have been more comfortable sleeping in his truck again, but he didn't want to be rude. What seemed to ease him a little bit was how long it took Dean to fall asleep.

After the two had gone over to their makeshift beds, a few more questions were asked, along with some light chitchat. Mostly, Ben wanted to wait until the girls came back. For some strange reason, he really wanted to tell Claire good night. However, he never got the chance. Dean's soft snores, along with the crackling sound of the fire dying and the noises that come from a nighttime woods, Ben was quickly asleep. He didn't realize this until he woke up the next morning, a blanket tangled between his legs, a arm across his face and the smell of bacon filling his nose. As he sat up, he heard Dean begin to stir on the couch above him.

Dean say up and stretched, groaning at how stiff his back felt. He was getting too old to be sleeping on a couch. He almost wished he would have taken the floor, but Ben had looked so peaceful once he was finally asleep. 

"Good monrin', boys," Jody's voice hummed lightly from the kitchen. She was busy preparing the whole house a light breakfast before she had to go into the station for the day. 

"Mornin'," both Dean and Ben mumbled. Ben slowly sat up and stretched, his back aching. Yup, he definitely wished he would have slept in the truck.

"How didja sleep?" Jody asked as a door opened back the hall and soft footsteps were heard.

"I'm gettin' too old to be sleepin' on couches," Dean grumbled, wishing Castiel was around to give him a back rub. That man could perform magic with his fingers when it came to massages, though most of their massages only last a few minutes before something else happened. Dean found himself picturing his angel and groaned at the feeling he was getting between his legs. "Shit," he mumbled and threw the blankets back, being glad that he had decided to sleep in his jeans. At least he still had a little bit of protection. He stood up and padded back the hall to the bathroom, hoping with time, Little Dean would relax. 

Lucky for him, Ben hadn't noticed. He was too focused on his phone, seeing he had several messages from his mom. "Shit, I'm in trouble," he mumbled and stood up. He walked over to the front door and motioned to his phone before Jody could ask where he was going.

Once he was outside on the small porch, he went over to a wooden rocking chair and sat down, propping his bare feet up on the banister in front of him. He closed his eyes for a second as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Pushing the call button. He sighed heavily and waited for the worst.

"Wow, so my only son is still alive," Lisa sarcastically said on the other end, but Ben could hear how worried she was.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm sorry," he started, feeling more upset than he should about not calling her sooner. She knew how much she worried and yet he was able to push her to the back of hia mind, letting his excitement of finding his father take over. One day out of the house and he was already a disappointment. 

"Well, where are ya?" Lisa asked after a few seconds of silence. She could hear birds chirping in the background, so she figured he was outside somewhere.

"Um, I'm not really sure," Ben said as he looked around as though the many vehicles in the front yard would give him some clue. "I think I'm still in Souix Falls."

"Well, wasn't that where you were hopin' to be?"

Ben nodded, as though she could see him. "Yeah, it was. I didn't have to really search for him, either. He came to me."

Lisa paused for a few seconds, unsure of what to say. "Oh... Um, you've met Dean already?"

"Yeah, he showed up last night and we talked. He is my dad, Mom. I'm not really sure of all thw details yet, but I've got time. He wants to take me back to his house in Kansas to meet his brother and mother," Ben rambled on, getting more and more excited, yet confused at the same time. 

"Your father, huh?" Lisa asked, sounding very unsure of herself. "With someone as nice lookin' as him, ya'd think I'd remember us bein' together."

"I don't really understand it all yet, either, Mom. That's why I wanna meet thw rest of the family, get some more answers."

"Are ya sure ya wanna know?" 

Ben paused for a minute, feeling a little unsure himself. Just a few days ago, he had no idea ghosts and demons were real. Now he knows they are and he and his mom were kidnapped by some. He closed his eyes for a second as another memory started to come back to him.

It was dark and cold. The room he was in was huge and smelled musty, mixed with the copper smell of blood, rusty metal and sweat. He realized he was tied to a pole, forced to sit on the wet, cold floor. His mother was tied beside him. He could feel her soft fingers intertwined with his, and shaking. He felt like he had been sitting like that, his arms chained behind his back, for hours. 

He could remember two men, dressed in all black, pacing the room in front of them. He could feel how scared and pissed he was that night all over again. He could feel how he had felt like he could have done more to save them. He could remember watching the demons pace in front of him. And then he heard it; the sound of fists meeting flesh and a body falling to the floor. He saw it all over again, the basement door flying open and another body falling through. And then Dean, standing in the doorway, a knife in hand. Ben gasped and rubbed at his temples, feeling a strong headache coming on.

"Ben? Ben? What's going on?" Lisa rushed out, bringing him out of his head. 

"I remember somethin'" he whispered, closing his eyes and fighting his sudden wave of nausea. He groaned, "I don't feel so hot, Mom. I'm gonna go lay down somewhere." Before she could respond, he pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up, setting the phone down on his legs. He put his hands in his head and rocked back and forth with the pain. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before. Far from a normal headache or migraine. He vaguely heard the door open and a female gasp.

"Ben? What's wrong?" Claire's voice asked.

He groaned and continued to rock as bright lights flashed behind his closed eyes. With each flash, a new memory was there. Meeting Dean for the first time. Dean moving in. Dean teaching him about Baby's engine. Dean teaching him how to shoot a rifle. Dean leaving them. Dean leaving. Dean coming back. Lisa being stabbed in the stomach, by her own hands. Dean driving frantically to the hospital. And then everything went dark. 

Claire gasped and dropped the coffe mug she had been holding as Ben fell forward off of the chair. She was down on her knees, cupping his head in her hands as he began to seize. She screamed for Dean, trying to move Ben into a safer position. 

Dean heard Claire's shrill and panicked cry and jumped up off the couch, he feet barely touching the floor as he flew to rhe front door. He nearly rubbed it off rhw hinges as he pulled it open and gasped at the sight before him. He ordered Claire to move, shoved thw chair out of the way and got Ben into his side, holding him as his body continued to shake. "What happened?" He barked, trying to hold his son still. 

Claire was shaking, stating staring at the spilled coffee and broken porcelain. "I-uh," she started, slowly sitting down. "He was rubbin' his head and rockin' back and forth." 

Ben let out a groan as his seizure began to come to an end. Dean shushed him and began to run his fingers through his soft, dark hair. He gently pick his head up and laid it on his lap, trying to make him more comfortable. Ben continued to groan as small tremors racked his body. Dean could feel himself begin to sweat and panic. He grabbed for his phone to call Cass, the only person he could think of to help.

"Hello Dean," Castiel's voice said on the second ring, sounding a bit amused.

"Cass, I need help!"Dean rushed out, his voice cracking. He heard a rustling of feathers behind him.

"This is Ben?" Castiel asked, calmly as he looked the two of them over, trying to understand the situation.

"Yeah, this is my son," Dean replied, watching as Castiel knelt down in front of them. "Claire found him like this."

Castiel furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side, studying Ben for a second. He was groaning softly, covered in sweat and would tremble every few seconds. A small pool of drool was forming on the side of his mouth. He was pale. Reaching out, Castiel placed two fingers against his clamy forehead and waited, feeling what had happened. After a few silent seconds, he pulled his fingers away and looked up at Dean. "The wall has broken," he calmly said.

Dean felt himself relax a tiny bit as he looked between his boyfriend and then down at his son. "We should get him home. Sam might be able to help more," Dean mumbled, looking back up at Cass. He looked past him to see Jody was standing beside Claire.

"I'd suggest takin' 'em to a hospital, but who knows what they'd do to him and if we could get 'em back out," Jody said, reassuring Dean. Dean nodded once. "Keep us updated," she said.

"You get him to the Bunker. I'll drive Baby home and meet ya there as soon as I can," Dean commanded, looking up at Castiel. 

Castiel couldn't help but smile. He knew Baby would be fine here, but he also knew how lost Dean would be without his car. Instinctively, Castiel knelt down and gently kissed Dean's forehead and whispered upon it, "Drive safe, please."

Dean closed his eyes and sighed. Before he could open them, he felt the weight of Ben lift off of him and heard the woosh of Castiel's wings. He opened his eyes and looked up at Jody and Claire. 

"What happened?" Claire asked first. 

Dean sighed and slowly stood up, running his hand over his face. "The wall Cass put up in his mind crumbled." He sat down on the chair Ben had been on snd put his head in his hands. "I shouldn't have pushed him so hard. I mean, I saw what it did to Sammy. I just thought maybe this would be different since we weren't dealin' with Lucifer." He paused and stared out at his car. "What if I broke him? What if he doesn't come back from this? What'll I tell Lisa?" He felt a hand in his shoulder and looked up to see Jody standing beside him.

"He's a Winchester. He's strong," Jody tried to reassure him and then sighed. "I know ya won't stay for breakfast, but at least let me fix ya a sandwich for the road and some coffee?" Dean nodded and stood up. He walked back into the house, the girls following behind him. 

As he gathered his boots and flannel shirt, Claire and Jody were in the kitchen, talking low enough that Dean couldn't make out what they were saying, but he could tell Claire was still upset. As he put his boots on and laced them up, Claire walked over to him with two brown bags and two cups of coffee. "Do I really look that bad?" Dean questioned, staring at the cups.

"I'm comin' with ya," Claire said, her chin jutting into the air. "I'm worried 'bout Ben, too."

Dean smiled and looked past her to Jody, who nodded her head. Then he looked back to Claire and stood up, still smiling. He took the bag and the cup and headed towards the front door, saying his goodbyes to Jody. He walked out to Baby and got in, waiting for Claire. A few minutes later, she came out, a purple duffle bag swung over her shoulder, her brown bag and cup in one hand. She walked out to Baby and got in, putting the bag on the back seat. 

She looked at Dean and smiled, "Ya ain't gonna drive the speed limit, are ya?" 

Dean chuckled and three Baby in reverse, "Naw, why would I do that? Though I am gonna be careful not to tear up Jody's front yard." Which he was, as he slowly backed out and down the dirt road. Once they were a few minutes away from the house, Dean pushed his Bob Seger tape in, cranked it and floored it, Claire squealing and holding onto the dashboard.


	7. Speedy Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel brings Ben back to the Bunker and tends to him. Claire and Dean rush home, but run into some trouble along the way.

Castiel appeared in the war room of the Bunker, Ben in his arms and in no better shape than before. After a quick listen to decide he was alone, he briskly walked towards the bedrooms, choosing his empty room to put Ben in. He gently laid the tall teen on the bed and then flashed to a nearby hospital, gathering supplies. When Castiel finally came back, his arms were full with an iv, a bag of morphine, a bag of saline to keep him hydrated, some medicine to help with the seizers and tremors. He laid of that on the small dresser in the room and then looked back at Ben, who was as pale as the white sheets underneath of him. Before he could pause to really think about what was happening and begin to let emotions in, Castiel got to work on hooking Ben up to the two different iv's. After all of that was done, Castiel sat down in the chair across the room and finally allowed emotions in.

He looked back at the ghostly figure in the bed as reality began to set in. Castiel had done this to him, so he felt personally responsible for the teenager in his bed. In a way, Castiel felt like a scared parent, but he doubted Ben would ever see him as anything but an angel. The little bit that he could see into Ben's mind when he was trying to figure out what was wrong, the boy was still having trouble wrapping his mind around the new supernatural life he had stumbled upon, along with his father. Castiel didn't want to add to the complications Ben was trying to work through. Plus, Castiel had no idea what was going on in his head right now. Castiel knew he could easily heal Ben by putting the wall back up, but judging by the way Dean was hunched over his son, along with the way Dean had been acting since Ben called a little over a month ago, he knew that would be out of the question. 

Castiel put his head in his hands, feeling helpless for the first time in a long time. After seeing Dean and Ben together, even if the one wasn't conscious, he knew all of fears Dean had of Ben wanting him in his life were gone, but they were replaced with some bigger fears. Castiel wanted to comfort him, tell him everything was going to be alright, but Castiel hated to lie and he didn't know if everything in fact, was going to be alright. 

That was all Castiel wanted to do anymore; tell Dean everything was alright. Especially since both his brother and mother has seemed to turn against him. It was bad enough when Dean found out they were both working with the British Men of Letters, but now that both of them were equally mad and disappointed about Dean trying to protect Ben and Lisa, Castiel felt like Dean had no one else to turn to and this hurt him. Many a times in the last few weeks and days, he had wanted to pull Mary and Sam aside to make them forgive Dean, but he knew that would only make things worse. Dean hated to be pitied. All of the Winchesters did and Castiel didn't want to add to that. Instead, Castiel would be Ben's charge and heal him. He knew this would make Dean more than happy. With this, Castiel had made up his mind. For the time being, he would be known as Castiel the Healer and not Castiel the Lover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are ya worried?" Claire asked, finally bringing up the elephant in the room-or car.

Dean gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and eased up on the gas pedal, bringing his speed from close to 90 down to about 85. He really didn't want to talk about Ben, though he knew if something was majorly wrong, Cass would've called by now. They had been on the road for close to an hour. With the speed Dean was going, they would probably only be on the road another hour, hour and half at best. 

He looked beside him to see Claire peering up at him, chewing on her bottom lip. She looked as worried as he felt and this almost melted his heart. Deciding to change the subject from the condition of is son, he asked instead, "So you and Ben, huh?"

Claire quickly looked away and at the trees buzzing past them. Dean chuckled and sped up a little bit to pass a tractor trailer and a minivan in the fast lane. He had opted to take the highway, since that was the most direct route, but this meant more traffic, something Dean hated. 

"Is it that obvious?" Claire asked, playing with the ends of her hair.

Dean shrugged, "I can't really say nothin'. Apparently Cass and I had been givin' each other sex eyes for close to eight years before either of did anything 'bout it."

Claire giggled and nodded her head, "That is definitely true. I may have been little the first time I met you, but I could still see how crazy ya were and are about him."

Dean smiled and he felt some of his stress melt away, "I mean, who could blame me? He is a pretty awesome guy." It felt good to be around family.

Claire giggled again and looked out the windshield, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time. She wasn't very close with Dean or Castiel, but she was close enough that she could let her guard down and be a hunter. Even with Jody, she felt like she had to hide some of her crudeness and how good of a hunter she was becoming. 

"I'm guessin' you and Ben talked for awhile before I got there?" Dean asked as he brought the spend back up to 90.

Claire nodded her head, "Found out the kid is crazy 'bout fishin'. The way he talked 'bout, I wouldn't be surprised if he has one tattooed on his somewhere." She was half giggling at the end.

"Fishin', huh? I haven't done that in ages. I think there's a decent lake near the Bunker. Since my mom and brother don't need me much anymore, I'm sure Ben and I will have plenty of time to fish."

"Wait what? What's goin' on between you and Sam?" Claire quickly asked, turning herself to look at him more.

Dean sighed and pressed the gas a little harder. "Anyone from the British men of Letters contact ya lately?"

Claire wrinkled her brow. "Sounds familiar... Why?"

Dean glared at the road ahead of him, pushing the pedal a little more. "Sonofabitch," he grumbled and hit the wheel with the palm of his hand. He whipped in and out of traffic again, getting to another clearing and slowed down. When it was safe, he looked at Claire and said sternly, "Do not accept any offers from them."

Claire looked confused and blinked a time or two, "Whoa there, speedster. Why would I wanna work for someone else when I barely work for myself as a hunter?"

Before Dean could answer, flashing red and blue lights caught him out of the corner of his eye. He looked up into the rear view mirror and hit the wheel again, "Shit!" He took his foot of the gas, buying himself some time as he looked at Claire and motioned towards the glove box, "Get a badge outta there. Do you have yours?"

Claire sighed and shook her head, almost giggling as she lifted herself up some to pull hers out of her back pocket, "I never leave home without it." She handed it to Dean and then opened the glove box and fingered through a few books until she finally found one for him. All the while, the cop behind them was getting closer, the lights flashing and sirens blaring. "Ya are gonna stop, ain't ya?" she asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye and then down at the badge. "Agent Styx," she added with a chuckle.

Dean grabbed it from her and finally put his foot on the breaks, moving over a lane so he could pull over. Claire just sat in her seat, trying to hide her smile. She knew, sooner than later, Dean was probably gonna be pulled over. If he would've stuck to back roads, like he normally did, they would be safe. But, that would have also taken about two hours longer. She may not have spent a lot of time with Dean, but she did know a thing or two about him.

In the short time it took Dean to pull over, he had managed to compose himself of his anger, but he kept his concern for Ben present, hoping to play off of it. He waited for the officer to come up to his window before he began to roll it down. He could feel Claire's eyes on him, waiting to see what they set up would be.

"Do you realize how fast you were goin', son?" the male officer asked in an annoyed tone.

Dean casually shrugged his shoulders, "No sir, I didn't. Ya see, I'm kinda in a bit of a hurry." He looked up at the officer, trying to force himself to cry a little. He could tell the officer was getting annoyed, and fast.

"Ain't we all," the officer mumbled. "Lemme guess, she's goin' into labor?" he asked, looking past Dean to Claire.

Claire huffed and looked down at her very flat stomach. Before either man could say anything, she flashed her badge and sternly said, "No, officer," she leaned closer to look at his name tag, "Trently, Agent Styx here is in a hurry because there has been a deadly shooting about an hour away from here and his son was one of the victims."

The officer narrowed his eyes and looked between Claire and the badge, "Ya look mighty young to be an FBI Agent." He looked back to Dean, who had his badge laying face open. The officer looked down at it and back up at Dean. "I'm gonna need you two to step outta the vehicle."

Dean sighed and looked down a brief moment. He knew Ben was in good hands, but he had to play off of his nerves. Before he could look back up, Claire took over again.

"You could be costing this poor Agent the last moments he has with his son." She was glaring at him, unmoving.

"Sweetie, if there was a shootin', I would've heard about it," the officer said as he started to reach down to open Dean's door.

"Not if it was in another state, like Kansas."

"Are you resisting arrest?" The officer asked, peering down at both of them.

Dean quickly looked at Claire and grimaced. He looked back over at the officer and sort of whispered, "You'll have to forgive my partner. It's her time of the month and she gets a little bitchy then."

The officer took a step back from the car, as though the whole thing had become infected. His face showed a hint of disgust as he glanced at Claire and then back at Dean. "Is your son really in trouble?" he asked as he wiped his hands on his pants.

Dean took a moment to bring his emotions forward and he felt a lump forming in his throat. He swallowed it back as tears stung his eyes, "Yes sir. He was in pretty rough shape the last I heard." Images of Ben thrashing in his arms appear when he closes his eyes and he feels more of his composure sleeping away. He begins to sweat as he opens his eyes.

The officer shakes his head. The look of disgust being replaced with sympathy. "I really should take ya in for speedin' as bad as ya did, but I don't wanna be the reason why you don't see you're son before he dies."

Dean swallows hard and white knuckles the steering wheel. There's no way Ben could die. Not with Cass watching over him. Cass wouldn't let him die. Dean had to look away from the officer to fight back the sudden rage he felt. 

"You two are free to go. But please, try and drive safely. We don't want both of you dead," the officer says and then walks away.

Dean slowly nods his head and rolls the window back up a little bit, breathing deeply, trying to calm himself. "Ben can't die," he whispered as he turns the engine over.

"Is he really that bad?" Claire asked as she put his badge back into the glove box.

Dean doesn't say anything at first as he turns the radio on. "Free Bird" comes on and he cranks it a little louder as he slowly drives down the side of the highway, increasing his speed to be able to pull back out into the traffic. "Shoulda stuck to the back roads. Damn cop, wastin' our time."

Claire sighed and flopped back in her seat, drumming her fingers on the windowsill. She let Dean focus on pulling back into the steady traffic and then said, letting Dean hear how annoyed she was getting, "Dean, I ain't gonna let ya mope. Talk about this before ya try and kill us again." He glanced over at Claire and turned the music up louder, loud enough for them not to talk. Claire huffed and turned it back down. "I ain't you're brother or your boyfriend; I don't care 'bout pissin' ya off. Now talk."

"My car. My rules," Dean grumbled and reached for the volume knob. 

Claire slapped his had away and looked over at the speedometer. It was quickly approaching 80. There were starting to pass too many cars too quickly, "Damn it, Dean, slow the fuck down or let me drive!" she yelled.

 

Dean grunted and took his foot off the gas pedal, allowing Baby to come back down to a steady 80, to coast behind a sports car in front of him. He looked over at Claire and threw his hands up in the air, "Happy?"

 

Claire shook her head, "Not yet. I'll be happy once ya fill me in on what exactly happened to Ben."

 

Dean looks out the windshield, not saying anything for a few seconds. He licks his bottom lip and begins, not looking at Claire, "I did this to him. I did this to both of them."

 

"Both of who? His mom?" Claire asked and Dean nods. "What exactly didja do?"

 

Dean sighs again, "I was a selfish dick. I made Cass put a wall up in both of their minds, makin' them forget all about me and my life. I thought that would protect them. I never, in a million years, expected Ben to go all bounty hunter on me and track me down."

 

Claire smiles, "He did seem pretty excited and nervous to meet you...But that don't explain the seizer."

 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, "It was the wall crumblin'. Happened with Sam. Ben seems better off than Sammy was."

"Sam was worse than this?" Claire asked, her moth gaping.

"Sammy was seein' Lucifer," Dean stole a glance to see Claire's reaction. She looked shocked, yet mildly impressed. "We got into a fight with some Leviathans and we ended up in the hospital. He was admitted to a mental hospital 'cause of how bad the hallucinations had gotten at that point. The only way I got 'em out was with help from Cass."

"Wow, that's um... Fucked up, but way cool," she gushed.

Dean cocked his head to the side, "Well, that's one way to put it." 

"So, what do we do to make 'em better?" 

Dean shrugged, "I duhno. Hopefully with time and whatever Cass has been able to do, he'll come back to us."

"Have ya called Lisa yet?"

"Fuck!" Dean yelled and hit the steering wheel. "No, I didn't and I doubt Cass thought to do so."

"Well, if I know Cass, it'll be better for one of us to call. Otherwise, that conversation will start off somethin' like, 'Hi, my name is Castiel, I'm an angel of the Lord, who is having intimate relations with the father of your child. You child had a wall in his mind crumble, that I put there and is now in a comatose state," Claire rambled on, deepening her voice and trying her best to sound as serious as Castiel sounds most of the time.

Dean chuckled and relaxed a little bit. He let go of the steering wheel and reached into his pocket. He handed the phone to Claire and then asked, "What do we even say? Would it be best if we waited until we get there to get an update?"

Claire shrugged, looking down at Dean's phone. "Who knows? Maybe, by the time we get there, he might me awake." She looked back up at Dean. "Cass texted you a few times. I ain't gonna open them, in fear of seein' an unwanted dick pic."

Dean shook his head and chuckled, "If it was anyone else in my passenger seat, I'd be mortified."

"'Bout what? Bein' bi-sexual? A lot of girls probably think that's hot."

"Do ya really think I'm ever gonna sleep with a girl again?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

Claire looked him over and then smiled, "Naw, I doubt it. Cass has ya whipped."

Dean blushed at this and focused on the road. Maybe Cass did have him whipped, but damn if he didn't like it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

Castiel was sitting as still as a statue, his eyes never leaving Ben's body. Occasionally, his eyelids would flutter and the corners of his mouth would either pull up in a smile or down in a grimace. Castiel figured he must be dreaming of his times with Dean, something Castiel was very clueless about as he was too focused on building an army of angels and following orders. He certainly didn't miss those days, but he often wondered how different Dean's year away from hunting would have been if he was more present. Would Dean have gone back to Lisa? Would Ben be laying here right now?

Off in the distance, he heard the Bunker door creak open. He looked at the open door and then back at Ben. As much as he wanted to stay put, he knew Sam and Mary would need to be informed of what had happened, so he stood up and walked towards the sounds of their voices. He was able to come into the library without them noticing him, but he was noticing them. Both of them were splattered with blood, some fresh, some dried and caked on. A few scraped and bruises were forming. They're clothes were wrinkled and torn. Castiel sighed, feeling heartbroken for Dean that he wasn't asked to go with them. As though they heard his sigh, the both turned and looked at him. "Hello Sam, Mary," he said, looking between the two of them.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Mary asked.

Castiel shook his head once, "No, I was called by Dean for help."

"Is Dean okay?" Sam asked, taking a step forward.

Castiel nodded his head, "Dean is fine. A little shaken up, but fine. He is not alone. Claire is with him and they are headed here as we speak."

"So, then what's wrong?" Sam asked, looking Castiel over, trying to find the answer written on him.

"Ben is here. The wall I had put up has crumbled. Much like you, Sam, he went into a comatose state. I have him resting comfortably in my room, hooking up to a few iv's. Only time will tell if he will recover," Castiel carefully explained, looking between the two of them, waiting for them to understand. Sam slowly sank down into a chair, turning pale and breathing heavy. Mary looked a little confused.

"Sam, sweetie? What's wrong?" Mary asked, sitting down next to her son and putting her arm around his shoulders.

Sam leaned into her and swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn't even know the kid, but he knew what he was going through was some of the scariest dreams he ever had to work through. He really hoped Ben wasn't going to be hallucinating Lucifer any time soon, but whatever Ben was working through to come back was probably just as terrible for him. He sighed deeply and ran his hands through his hair, leaving his hands to rest on the back of his neck, "I uh, had a wall put up in my mind and I scratched at it too much, letting Lucifer in."

Mary looked up at Castiel quickly and then down at Sam again, "Lucifer? Like the devil?" Sam nodded his head. "But why?" she squeaked.

"I was Lucifer's vessel for the apocalypse. I let him in and then spent almost 100 years in the cage with him...."Sam began to explain as Castiel left the room, undictated.

Castiel walked away, already knowing this story and not really wanting to relive it again. He had tried his best pull both Sam and his soul out of the cage, but he just didn't have as strong of a bond with that Winchester as he did his boyfriend. As much as he wanted to, Castiel didn't have time or room in his heart to harbor self pity for Sam right now. He needed to get back to Ben and protecting him until Dean and Claire could arrive. 

He walked back into his room wand walked over to Ben, checking his iv drips and his vitals. Nothing much had changed, but the tremors seemed to have left. This made Castiel hopeful as he sat back in the chair. 

He wanted to ask Sam a few questions; try to better understand how to pull a human through this sort of trauma without making it worse, but Mary's concerns seemed to have taken precedence. As tired as Castiel was of getting shoved off to the side since the two of them had joined the BmoL, he knew right now was not the time to pick a fight, if there ever was a time. He was sure Dean was getting close to saying something before he had gotten the call from Jody. But Castiel, still being an angel, would not try to argue or make anything worse for Dean. He was here to love and support Dean. So, once again, he would sit here, watching over his new charge until Dean and Claire came busting threw the door. 

Castiel could hear bustling in the kitchen and the sound of someone coming down the hall, as almost everything echoed in their stone fortress. He stood up to partially close the door and then sat back down, he back to the door. 

He suddenly wished he knew more about the boy laying in front of him. He sent a prayer up to Chuck, asking for the time to get to know him, along with healing. Castiel didn't know what else to do.


	8. Long, Lonely Highway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Claire and Dean Baby, sharing heart to heart conversations.

Dean had gone back to semi-normal speed, trying not to tailgate the little silver sedan in front of him. When he had tried whipping in and out of traffic again, Claire had threatened him again. He many not be afraid of the small girl in his passenger's seat, but he did have to admit he was driving a little recklessly, knowing that Ben was in good hands. So, he had got behind a car doing at least 80, leaned back in the car a little and flipped the radio through until he found some classic rock. This was the way the two rode for the next 100 miles or so and were half way through Nebraska. 

Claire had drifted off at one point. Dean had stopped for gas and some lunch, grabbing cheap hot dogs, chips and soda before they hit the road again. Neither of them said much. They both ate, Dean quicker than her so he could get back to driving. He wanted to make it to the bunker by dinner time. If he kept up his legal speed limit driving, he would be there in another three hours. 

"So, what's the deal with these Men of Letters guys?" Claire asked in between snacking on her chips.

Dean sighed and turned the radio down some and looked at Claire. He looked back in front of him and ran a hand over his face, "Well, let's first get the difference outta the way. Sam-well Sam used to be, along with Mom..." He paused, his voice breaking at the end. He grunted and gripped the steering wheel.

"What's wrong now? God, ya pms more than any woman I know," Claire chided, playfully punching his arm.

Dean sighed and chuckled lightly, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm turnin' into a fuckin' wimp."

Claire took a drink of her mountain dew and then folded her legs up under herself, making herself more comfortable. She looked Dean over for the first time since the drive. He had grown a lot harder since the last time she had seen him. She thought maybe it was just from saving the world, like three more times since they had last seen each other, but the more time they spent together, the more she was beginning to think his home life was turning to shit. She didn't really have room to talk, but she was worried about him. Yeah, Dean was good at being upset about something, but normally he would burry it behind several walls and a few glasses of beer. She almost pitied him, but at the same time, was proud of him for finally being able to tlak about things openly. "Man, Cass really brought ya outta your shell," she said with a half smile and then munched on another chip.

Dean wrinkled his brows and looked over at her, "Was that a pity-smile?"

Claire looked down at the chipped, dark purple nail polish on her fingers and picked a few pieces off, "What are ya talkin' 'bout, old man?" Dean opened his mouth to protest but she added, "I'm glad ya finally have someone to talk to. I'm glad Cass made ya realize ya don't have to fight all of your inner battles alone." She reached over and patted his arm and then cleared her throat, "But enough of that. Finish tellin' me why these British Men of Letters are no good."

Dean chuckled and patted her hand, "Alright, little girl, lemme teach ya a thing or two."

Claire pulled her hand back and smiled, "Man, if you were twenty years younger, that might be real kinky." Dean looked over at her and she winked and then giggled. 

"I forgot how much sass and flirt ya have in ya, kid," Dean chuckled and then cleared his throat. "Well," he started and Claire shifted in her seat, reaching for her soda. "Those fuckin' British Men of Letters took Sammy early on and tortured the poor kid. He was in real bad shape when Mom and I finally found him in the middle of nowhere, drenched in freezin' cold water, coverd in scrapes and burns."

"Why?" Claire interjected, sitting up-right in her seat, her face angry.

"As Lady whatshername said as she had me tied up, they wanna get rid of us, the Winchesters, because they're gettin' tired of cleanin' up after our messes," Dean bit out.

"Ouch," Claire said and flinched as though she had been hit. "What a bitch. Hopefully ya killed her?"

Dean shook his head, "Wanted to. Damn, I wanted to, but Mick took her to Ketch before we could even get our hands on her. That fuckin' bitch would be burnt and six feet under if we had our way. So would all of them."

"And you said Sam and your mom, who I thought was dead, are part of 'em now?" Claire asked, scratching her head in confusion.

"I know, I don't get it either. I got pissed at both of 'em, but that did me no good. As much as I hate to admit it," he paused and sighed. "I need Sammy and Mom in my life. They're all I got now, my brother who drank demon blood and hallucinated Lucifer, my mother who has been dead for over thirty years and is suddenly back and my boyfriend who is free-willed and also an angel." Dean chuckled at the end and shook his head.

Claire snorted and put her legs down on the floor, "Ya wanna talked 'bout fucked up families. My dad is sorta dead, I guess, but his body is a vessel for your boyfriend. Who the hell knows where my mom is. Alex still won't admit what we do," she motioned between the two of them. "Is real and tries to stay outta my life as much as she can. Jody still tries to mother me, even though I'm twenty," she was listing things on her fingers. She stopped and slapped her palm on the dashboard, causing Dean to flinch and warn her, "Oh, and the best part! I'm fallin' for a kid in some kind of weird coma."

"Well shit, I didn't know we were havin' a pissin' contest," Dean chuckled and looked over at her.

Claire shrugged her shoulders and looked out the windshield and groaned. Dean followed her eyes and made the same noise. "Damn traffic," they both grumbled as they began to come to a slower speed. With as flat as the highway was, Claire could see a few miles ahead, and that traffic was completely stopped. She couldn't see anything further as it curved around a hill.

"Well, we could get off at the next exit and try and swing 'round all of this," Dean said, thinking out loud.

Claire looked beside her to see a tandem tractor trailer, going about the same speed at them. There wasn't room to cut in front of the truck because of how slow the car in front of them was going. Claire looked behind her to see that they were stuck. She turned back around and looked at Dean, "Unless this thing can turn into the DeLorean or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we ain't gettin' off."

Dean looked in his rearview and side view mirrors and slapped the wheel, groaning. "I hate traffic," he whined.

Claire shrugged and rolled her window down some more as they crawled along, "Hey, you're the one that insisted we take the highway."

"Shudup, ya don't even know where you're goin'."

  Claire held up her index finger, "First unspoken rule of bein' a hunter; backroads are always quicker and safer."

Dean rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath in a playful tone, "See, this is why I'm with a guy. Us guys don't nag."

Claire hit his arm, harder than before since they were going about ten miles per hour. The car barely drifted anywhere. "Hey, don't bitch 'cause you'd rather be stuck in traffic with your boyfriend."

"I just don't wanna be stuck in traffic," he groaned and rolled his window down the whole way. 

"Ya just had to drive her home, instead of lettin' Cass bring us home with him," Claire teased again and finished off her bag of chips, throwing it out the window.

"Hey, Baby is important. She needs to be in the garage, where she belongs," Dean said, slowly caressing the dashboard in front of him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I get out and walk a little so you two can have a minute alone?" Claire asked, reaching for the door handle.

Dean just continued caressing his car and spoke in a hushed tone, "Shh, Baby, it's okay. She didn't mean it. She just doesn't understand cars."

Claire folded her arms across her chest and huffed, "Like hell I don't."

Dean stopped what he was doing and looked over at her, the car coming to a complete stop. "What do ya mean?" he asked, glancing at her hands. They didn't look rough.

"I've been fixin' up a '74 Charger," Claire said, puffing out her chest. Dean looked impressed, so she continued, "I got it up and runnin'. I take it with me on my cases. Got everythin' I need in the trunk. Could use a fresh coat of paint, though."

"Where didja find it and the parts?" Dean asked, putting the car in park.

"That old scrap yard by the house that's run-down. Had one sittin' in the back lot and I found the parts in other's that weren't runnin'."

Dean's head shot up and he couldn't help but smile. "Bobby would be proud," he mumbled, still smiling.

"Is Bobby the one that owned the scrapyard?" 

Dean nodded his head and then looked off into the distance, having flashbacks of Bobby. It had been awhile since he thought of that onery, old man, but that didn't change how much he missed him. "God, I'm sure glad he ain't here to see what Sammy is doin'," Dean mumbled allowed, shaking his head as Baby inched a few feet. 

"Who was Bobby to ya?" Claire asked, picking up on Dean's sudden melancholy mood.

"He was our uncle, but he was more like a father to us after Dad died. If it weren't for that man, ya wouldn't be here, sittin' and talkin' to me," Dean replied, his voice heavy with emotion. 

"He died before the Men of Letters became a problem?"

Dean nodded his head ans chuckled to himself, "And a good thing he did. If those bastards every showed up on his property, I'm sure he would've filled their asses with lead..." He drifted off into thought again, moving very slowly with the traffic. Dean was fairly certain if Ketch or Mick would have asked him to be part of them or explain how much of a mess he was continuing to make, Bobby would have personally sent them to Hell. Just the thought of the British Men of Letters wanting to tear down the smooth running operation was enough to make his blood begin to boil. 

Claire noticed Dean white knuckling the wheel again and sighed, "I didn't mean to upset ya."

Dean coughed nervously and looked at her through the corner of his eye and then back at the slow moving cars, "It's fine. It's just-uh, this fuckin' traffic." He waited for a bigger gap between the car in front of him and then he slowly started to turn the wheel to the left, towards the rumble strips and the grass that separates the highway.

"What are ya doin' now?" Claire asked, watching Dean as he slowly edged towards the edge of the grass. She was beginning to get nervous and excited, all at the same time. The look on Dean's face made he feel like whatever they were about to do was illegal, but she didn't mind. She just quickly grabbed her drink to screw the cap on tightly, and just in time, too. As soon as the bottle was back on the floorboard, Dean was speeding through the grass, dust and wildflowers being flung up and into the open windows. Claire began to giggle. "Well, this is one way to bypass all the traffic," she yelled over the rev of the engine and the loud music Dean had cranked up.

"Fuck this traffic. I need to see Ben," Claire heard Dean solemnly say, relaxing some as he hung one arm out the window and put the other hand on the top of the wheel, to better control the bumps and uneven ground they were flying over. He glanced down at the speedometer to see he was pushing 90, but he didn't care. He has wasted too much time in this traffic, loosing almost a full hour. 

Dean was able to keep this up for another twenty minutes or, before he was being chased by the police. He swore under his breath and looked at Claire, who was still giggling and holding onto anything she could, keeping herself from bumping out of the car. "Should be stop?" he asked, looking at her.

Claire shrugged her shoulders, "I mean, ain't we gonna be goin' to jail at this point?"

"Good point," Dean said and pushed the gas pedal harder, making Baby roar as they pushed 100. Dean began to loose control and swore under his breath, apologizing more to the car than Claire. He slowed it down some, but the cops behind him were quickly advancing on him. He looked back to his right and swore again. The road was still full of traffic. He looked back in front to see there was a few cars smashed together, a few miles down the road and then the highway was clearing out. So, Dean sped along, easily passing the accident scene and then swerving back onto the highway, the tires squealing and the back end fishtailing. The struts and shocks all protested with the change of terrain at such a high speed. 

"Do we have a plan?" Claire asked as Dean fought to keep the car from spinning out.

"Uh... I'm workin' on that," he said, bringing the speed back down to 90. He could hear at least two sirens behind him, but he didn't look in the mirrors to be seen. "Maybe ya better call Jody and tell her what we're doin'"?

Claire sighed loudly and looked behind her and then back at Dean, "Uh, how much longer until we get there?"

"If we keep this speed, another hour at most, but I doubt that is gonna happen," he says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls Castiel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his trench coat. He slowly unfolded himself from the chair and walked outside, shutting the door behind him and then pulled his phone out to answer it. When he saw the lock screen picture of his green eyed, freckled and smiling boyfriend, his heart jumped slightly and he couldn't help but smile. It may only have been a few hours apart, but he couldn't help but miss him. "Hello Dean," he said, smiling. On the other end of the line, Castiel heard wind whistling, the backbeat of the radio and sirens wailing. This caused his smile to quickly vanish and be replaced by a frown. "What's going on?" he asked, all the lightheartedness draining from his voice.

"Uh...," Dean drawled. Castiel could hear Claire talking in the background. "I may have just done somethin' really impulsive and very illegal."

"I'll be right there."

"No! Stay where ya are, babe!" Dean quickly yelled, keeping Castiel in the bunker. "I need ya at home, so you, Agent Beyoncé, can come bail my stupid ass outta jail when we get pulled over." Dean ended with a chuckle.

"Dean, there is many things I'd like to do to and with your stupid ass, but bailing you out of jail is not one of them," Castiel simply replied, making a small moan escape from Dean.

"Ah baby, not right now," Dean said, his voice husky.

Castiel felt a smile snake across his face as he playfully remarked, "Well, maybe if my sweetheart wasn't such a delinquent and followed rules, he would be home soon and I could be taking care of his ass and his needs." This caused Dean to moan again.

"You like me bein' a badass," Dean purred, the sirens getting louder in the background. Castiel waited a minute to reply, listening to the background. Dean swore under his breath and he could hear tires squealing. "Aw fuck," he groaned and then yelled, "Cass, baby, come get us in a few hours please. Love ya!" And then the line went dead. 

Castiel stood in the hallway, blinking and trying to process what just happened. He couldn't help but smile at how confident Dean sounded, but then he sighed. Dean being this reckless meant that Ben's current condition was deeply bothering him. "Oh Dean," he mumbled, looking down as he heard footsteps approaching. 

"What's up, Cass?" Sam asked as he rounded the corner, seeing the angel standing, looking down at his shoes.

Castiel lifted his head up and looked into Sam's eyes, "Hello, Sam. Your brother is on his way to jail. I'm thinking of a way to get him out."

"What!?" Sam yelled. "Why are you this calm?! We just escaped federal prison. He can't be picked up by the cops."

"You're right, Sam, but also cannot just flash in there and bring him and Claire home. From the sounds of the recent phone call, Dean was leading a high speed chase."

Sam began to panic, his chest rising and falling quickly. He ran his fingers through his hair, gripping the ends of them and looked away from Castiel, trying to think of a plan himself. "Fuckin' great," he mumbled. "This is just like Dean. When someone needs him, he does somethin' fuckin' stupid and turns it into bein' all about him."

Castiel sighed and walked towards Sam, leading him further away from Ben's room. "If you're going to blame anyone for this, blame me. Dean is only doing what he thinks is right."

"Oh yeah!? Goin' to jail is the right thing to do?!" Sam yelled, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Well, no that may not be the best way to cope with Ben's condition, but Dean has never been one for having good coping skills," Castiel quietly said, watching Sam as he began to pace.

Sam spun around and pointed a finger at him, "You would say that! You would be supportin' him in doin' one of the stupidest things he's done in awhile."

Castiel squared his shoulders, standing tall and firmly said, "You're right, I am supporting Dean, my boyfriend, your brother. You and Mary may not have been there for him recently, but I have. Not only have you two abandoned him, you didn't bother to ask how he was coping with finding Ben and then losing him the next day. So, excuse me, while I go care for my possible stepson and think of a plan to get my boyfriend out of jail." Castiel turned on his heel and quickly walked down the hall, his dress shoes loudly clacking with each step.

Sam just stood there, dumbfounded. He watched Castiel walk away and roared in anger, punching the wall beside him. Castiel didn't even flinch and kept walking, quickly disappearing behind Ben's door. He didn't understand where Castiel was coming from, saying he wasn't around for his brother. He was always around for his brother.

"Sam? Are you okay?" Mary's voice asked from behind him. 

He slowly turned around and looked down at his mother, shaking his head, his hair falling into his face. He sighed, his shoulders feeling heavy, "Dean's on his way to jail. Started a high speed chase. That's all the more I know."

Mary leaned heavily against the wall, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She began to wring her hands and looked down the hall at the closed bedroom doors. "Does Castile know?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, that's how I know."

Mary ran her hand over her face and sighed, "What's the plan?"

Sam shrugged, leaning on the wall next to her, "There isn't one yet." His phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out to see it was Jody calling. "But this might help," he said before holding the phone up to his ear. "Hi Jody," he said, trying to sound cool.

"Don't hi Jody me!" she said, already using her mom voice. "What the hell is Dean doing and why isn't he there already?"

Sam sighed and slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting, "I wish I could tell ya."

"Claire said she was fine and Dean was fine, just stupid. Does Cass know anything about this?" Jody asked as Sam put her on speaker. 

"Claire's with him!?" Sam squeaked. "Cass didn't mention that. How the hell are we gonna break both of them out?"

"Who's Claire?" Mary asked, looking between Sam and the phone.

"Hi Mary," Jody said and then explained, "Claire's like a daughter to me. I let her go with Dean when they both left here. She seemed pretty concerned about Ben, if ya know what I mean."

Mary nodded her head and smiled, "Gotcha." Then she sighed, sliding down to sit next to Sam. "So, what do we do about our kids?"

They heard Jody sigh on the other end, "I'm workin' on that now..." She trailed off.

"Once of us could go and drive to wherever they are  and use a badge to get them out," Sam suggested.

"We can't do that. Claire said they were already stopped for speedin' and they tried flashin' their badges."

"Great," both of the Winchesters groaned.

"I could always say I had a warrant for his arrest her for trespassin', carryin' without a permit and I found drugs on him."

"Dean's doin' drugs?" Mary squeaked.

"No, he's not. As far I know, he never has, but what's a possession charge to his long list of other charges?"

"Good point," Sam said, shrugging his shoulders and looking at his mother. She looked horrified and white as a ghost. "What's wrong, Mom?" Sam asked, squeezing her hand.

"How many charges does Dean have?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Ten charges," Castiel's voice said above them. Mary looked up at him as he continued, "Most of them aren't serious though, like his mail and credit card fraud. The rest, along with the confusion of Lucifer using the President as a vessel, are what we need to worry about."

"There's more than just him gettin' thrown in federal prison to worry about?"

Castiel nodded his head, sitting down across from the two of them. They heard some clicking coming from the phone.

"I just pulled up his record..." she paused and looked over the different mugshots posted and giggled at the very first one, one of his pouting in an attempted sexy way.  "He has several counts of grave desecrations...uh- breaking and enterin' kidnappin' three counts of murder and the thing with the President."

"Would a warrant even work?" Mary asked quietly.

"If I was posted twelve hours ago and had a pound of cocaine, along with carryin' a gun without a permit that has no serial number. Plus, take on he's a flight risk and left the state when he wasn't supposed to, he's good as mine to be transported back here," Jody said, sounding very sure of herself.

"What about Baby?" Castiel asked, knowing that was what Dean was going to be worried about most.

Jody giggled, while Sam glared at him. "She'll be impounded. Won't be too hard to get her back," Jody said, a smile in her voice. "That boy and his car," she mumbled.

"What about our charges of attempted assassination of the President, along with escaping federal prison?" Sam asked, shooting daggers at Cass.

"Uh, hold on," Jody said and mumbled a few incoherent things. "I don't see anythin' here about the President." As though something finally clicked, Jody rushed out, "You boys were in federal prison? And I'm just now hearin' 'bout it?"

Sam groaned and closed his eyes, "Can we stay on the topic of Dean?"

"Fine, but you're in trouble, Sam. The next time I see you, we're talkin' 'bout this."

"And when will that be?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Well, hopefully within the next 48 hours, when I find out what jail he's in, drive there and transport both of them here. From here, I can either drive them to you or-"

"I'll come get you. Let me know when the three of you are ready," Castiel replied and then stood back up.

"How long until we find out where they are?" Mary asked, watching Castiel and Sam. Sam was still glaring at the angel.

"As soon as they're booked, I'll get a ping. Then I call the station, notifying them of my warrant and then I drive there. Once I get there and find out Claire is there too, I'll panic and beg for her to be released into my custody."

"And that will work?" Mary asked, cutting in.

Castiel nodded his head, "Legally, Jody is Claire's guardian, even if she is over the age."

"Cass is right. Jimmy Novak, even though is legally dead, still signed the adoption papers years ago. Claire has been with me for about four years," Jody explained to Mary.

"Who's Jimmy Novak?" Mary asked. Just when she was finally feeling less confused, something new was being thrown in.

"This vessel is Jimmy Novak," Castiel said, looking at Mary. 

Mary looked him over with confusion, as though the thought of the body in front of her was once a living human. She covered her mouth and gasped.

"Don't worry, Mary. Jimmy allowed me in. Allowed me to use his body, even as he was dying. Angels need consent from the person before they can inhabit the vessel," Castiel explained.

"Well, it doesn't sound like I can do anythin' else right now besides cause more confusion, so I'm gonna go. I'll call ya when I hear anythin'," Jody said and then hung up.

The three of them looked at the black screen of the phone, trying to figure out what's next to do.


	9. Pleasure and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Dean are arrested and processed. Jody and Castiel think of a plan. Dean gets back at Castiel.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: Some smut in this chapter

"Alright, Alright, ya don't haveta shove," Dean said as his face met the wall for the second time since being arrested. He was trying to play it cool, just like every other time he's been arrested by civilian police. Nothing could compare to the federal arrest, so this was a piece of cake. The only thing that had him slightly concerned was where they had taken Claire. 

The two of them had been taken to the station in the back of the same cruiser. The officers that finally stopped them weren't too rough with Claire as the got her out of the car. Dean, on the other hand, was yanked out of the car and face planted into the gravel and dirt on the side of the highway. When he had finally gotten his footing to stand back up, he was pushed towards the cruiser, once again, getting an up close view of the white paint of the hood of the car as they frisked him. It didn't help that he joked, by saying, "Hey, if you're gonna get that friendly with me, at least buy me dinner first." That got him a bump on the head as they shoved him into the back of the car without making him duck. If his hands wouldn't have been cuffed behind him, he probably would have taken a swing at the officer on the last bump. 

"I hope ya have a plan," Claire mumbled as Dean was shoved into the backseat next to her.

Dean had fallen sideways, his legs barely in the door when it was slammed shut. His head was dangerously close to Claire's lap. He was struggling to sit up and Claire wasn't much help as she tried to help him. After a few more minutes and several grunts later, the car had started and Dean gave up. He had managed to turn himself so he could see Claire. "I'm still workin' on that," he mumbled back, trying not to stare directly at Claire's boobs, but at this angle, it was hard to do so.

"Well, ain't that just ducky," she pouted and slouched as best as she could in her seat.

"How much cash ya got on ya?" Dean asked, trying to move himself to see anything but a view of side boob.

"Uh..." Claire started and looked at the cage and headrest in front of her, "I grabbed my last paycheck, plus some of my savin's, so I'm a little over $700."

Dean whistled and chuckled, "Damn, what I'd give to have that much cash on me." Claire looked back down at him and wrinkled her brows. Before she could ask anything, Dean replied, choosing his words carefully, "We don't live... frivolously, but we get by. Sammy and I have some... side jobs. Plus, I think Mom's been gettin' some help from the British Men of Letters."

Claire nodded her head and sighed, "What I have ain't even close to bail. Especially for what you're gonna be charged with."

Dean just laughed at that and looked up at her, really trying to see her eyes, when he said, "Sweetheart, this ain't my first rodeo."

Claire glared down at him, "But what 'bout me, asshat?"

Dean stopped laughing and winked, "You'll be fine."

Claire wanted to cross her arms. Instead, she settled on huffing and turning herself to look out the window. She didn't want to talk to Dean anymore. She thought maybe talking would help calm her nerves, but so far, that had only made it worse. It was one thing to carry around fake badges and use them, but to be going to jail with that as a potential charge against both of them, plus whatever other charges or warrants Dean has against him... She might see sunlight again on his fiftieth birthday. 

Dean had tried a few more times to start the conversation, but she continued to keep her head and part of her body, looking away from him. Dean sighed and tried again to sit up, but kept failing. Instead of wasting his energy on the struggle, he opted to just watch the streaks of light and other colors pass across the inside of the car. The two of them stayed like this until they finally arrived at the station. 

Dean heard Claire's side of the car open first and they officer asking her to step out of the car. After she was safely out of the car, Dean waited a few minutes, hearing the officer stomp over to his door. Dean flinched, waiting for the worse, as his door was opened and he was grabbed by the boots, being dragged out of the car. Dean's butt was the first to hit the pavement and then his back, which was partially exposed from his shirt being pulled up from the drag. He winced as he felt the brush burn he was getting. Castiel was going to have fun healing him, whenever that may be. 

That thought made Dean stop breathing for a minute. What if he had just fucked himself over and bought himself a one-way ticket back to federal prison? What if he won't get to see Castiel again for upwards of three months. He felt himself begin to panic as he was yanked to his feet. He knew he had the skills to fight these two officers off. He probably would have, if it would have been Sammy next to him. Instead, he opted to keep his mouth shut and allow himself to be shoved along. 

After they made it inside, Dean was still trying not to panic. When he had called Cass, he hadn't thought to ask about Ben. Instead, he got distracted by Castiel's flirting, something he was gonna pay for. What if Cass flirted to distract Dean from asking about Ben? Dean felt his knees give out and he crumpled to the ground.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Claire asked from beside him somewhere. She had stopped walking, trying to run over to him. Whatever thoughts were playing across his mind had caused this. Her heart began to beat quickly as she felt her stomach contents try to come forward. If Dean was that weak all of a sudden... He was supposed to be the strong one here.

"Keep walkin'" the officer grumbled behind her and shoved her forward. 

She turned herself around to see Dean being pulled up and slammed into the wall. Before she rounded a corner, she thought she heard Dean mumble Ben's name. She stopped dead again, making the officer slam into her and loose her grip on her arm. She took the opportunity to run back to Dean and quickly ask, "What about Ben?" All the while, the officer was chasing her.

Dean was walking again and she was trying to keep pace next to him. His face was pale and his breathing shallow, "Didn't ask Cass 'bout him." His words came out in a whisper.

"I'll use my phone call to call Cass. Don't worry," Claire was able to get out before she, herself found out what the brick wall felt like as he face was being smushed up against it. When she was done being yelled at for running away, she was walking again, but Dean was gone.

The officer had immediately taken Dean to booking, wasting no time at all. He was shoved into a seat, long enough to be asked about his personal information. Sighing, he gave them his real name, knowing his fingerprints would pull it up anyhow.

"Well, that's interestin'," the booking's office said after she had pulled his records up.

Having a few minutes of slience had allowed Dean to collect himself and stow his shit, so he was able to act like his smartass self when he remarked, "I am an interestin' guy." He finished with a wink and a click of his tongue.

She looked up from the screen with a bored expression, "Uh huh." Then she went back down to screen and wrinkled her brows, "It says here, Mr. Winchester, that you died in St. Paul in 2008." She looked back up and looked him over, "Yet, ya look pretty alive to me."

Dean chuckled and tilted his head to the side, "Yeah, I am."

The rest of the bookings process went without a hitch. He was placed in an empty cell, without his boots, of the belongings of his pockets, which consisted of his phone, wallet and a pocket knife. He had thought about grabbing his lock pick before he stopped Baby, but he knew that could get him some other charge, especially with the way these cops were treating him.

After he was put in the cell and the door closed, Dean walked over and sat down on the bench at the back of the room. His hands were still cuffed behind his back. He was going to mention that fact before the door shut, but with the way he had been treated thus far, he didn't want to know what the walls in this part of the jail tasted like. So, he sat down on the bench and just watched the goings on in front of him. It wasn't long before he saw Claire being taken past his cell. He jumped up and rushed forward, seeing some dried blood on her bottom lip and cheek. He slammed his body into the cell, rattling the bars as he yelled, "Don't hurt her!"

Claire flinched at the anger in his tone, but kept walking. Since she had never been charged with anything before, the told her she could have her phone call before she was put in a cell, so she didn't want to mess that up by talking to Dean. At least, not now, so she rounded the corner to where the phones were. She was sat down and uncuffed, the officer stepping a few feet behing her. She rubbed at her wrists a few seconds as she tried to remember Castiel's number. 

"Dean?" Castiel's voice asked from the other end, full of worry.

Claire smiled, "Naw, you're other favorite smartass."

"Oh, yes, hello Claire," his voice sounded forced. "How are you and Dean?"

"Oh, Dean is bein' Dean, so I doubt he's gettin' a phone call." She paused for a few seconds. When Cass didn't say anything, she said, "Dean didn't ask 'bout Ben and he's gettin' worried again."

"I've made him my charge. He is resting comfortably in my room. All we can do is wait," Castiel said, allowing a little more emotion into his voice.

"Ok... I guess that's good," she said, trying to sound hopeful. She heard the guard behind her clear her throat. "Well, the wolf is breathin' down my throat. I guess ya know where we are now."

"Yes. Keep Dean calm," Castiel interjected, making Claire laugh.

"Yes, Dad," she playfully teased and then added in a more serious tone, "Just figure somethin' out, and fast. I don't wanna spend my whole life in here."

"We have and you won't," was all Castiel said after a few seconds. 

Before Clarie could say anything else, the guard hung up the phone for her, glaring down at her. "If I called my dad from jail, I wouldn't be soundin' so peachy."

Claire giggled and allowed her arms to be brought behind her. "He's not actually my dad..." She trailed off, letting her cuffs be put back on. "At least, not anymore," she added. 

"Ah, Daddy issues. Is that why you were spendin' time with the other guy?" the guard wiggled her brows as they began to walk again.

Claire gagged and shook her head, "Ew, no. Dean's a family friend. Plus, he ain't my type." She had to admit, it felt nice to have a friendly guard. She just had to remember to not overshare, something she struggled with when she was nervous.

They soon rounded the corner and she could see Dean, his head in his hands. Slowly, she sidestepped, getting herself closer to his cell as they had to walk past him. When he was within earshot, she said, "Ben's fine. He's in Cass's charge, whatever that means."

Dean shot up and looked at Claire. She had managed to stop walking for a second and smiled. Dean felt relieved and looked up at the ceiling, laughing. After Claire had rounded the corner again and he was completely alone, he looked down, closing his eyes and began to pray to Castiel, knowing he would hear every word, "Hey baby. I'm fine. A few cuts and bruises from bein' stupid." He paused, picturing Castiel beginning to lecture him. "Yeah, I know, I know, but I can't help myself sometimes." He stopped and cleared his throat. "Thanks for takin' Ben under your wing. I'll give ya a proper thank you later." He stopped again and chuckled to himself, feeling mischievous. "On the topic of thank yous, thanks for the awkward boner in Baby. I'd like to really thank you for makin' me picture all of the things you can do to my ass. I can't wait to get home, so you can punish me for bein' a bad boy. Maybe bring me across your knees, spankin' me and makin' me beg for other things." His voice was low and husky as he felt himself begin to grow hard. He groaned and stopped praying, but the thoughts kept going.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who was that?" Mary asked once Castiel sat back into the war room, leaning up against the table. The three of them had moved from the hallway into the war room, trying to think of a back up plan.

"Claire. She says they're fine and was inquiring about Ben's wellbeing. I'm assuming they have been processed, if she was able to call me, so we should be getting a call from Jody soon," Castiel explained, crossing his arms over his chest and tucking his hands into his coat. He began to fiddle with the tip of the angel blade he always carried with him, trying to keep his mind from worrying.

"It could be an hour or more until they get uploaded into the system," Sam said, looking up from his laptop, refreshing his screen of Dean's record again.

"So, now we're back to waiting," Castiel remarked, looking past the Winchesters to the wall. He really didn't want to be in the room with them anymore than he had to. He was almost hoping for an excuse to leave the room.

"I haven't seen anythin' for Claire yet, either. She doesn't have any prior convictions, so she might actually be released... As long as they don't charge her for impersonating a federal officer," Sam chimed in, switching screens on the laptop. 

Castiel shifted his weight. He was standing almost at the head of the table, closest to Sam. His arms were still folded, his fingertips still on the blade.

Mary looked between the two men. Sam's nose was buried in the computer screen and Castiel was staring at the doorway again. The tension in the room was thick enough, even a machete wouldn't cut through it. She sighed and ran a hand over her face before she asked, "What's goin' on here? I thought Cass was all of our friend?"

Sam lifted his head up looked at his mother, confused as Castiel slowly turned his head. Neither guy wanted to talk about it, especially with her present. 

"Well?" Mary urged after neither of them answered.

Sam sighed and nervously cleared his throat, "I'd still consider Cass my friend." He looked up at Castiel to see he was smiling, but not looking at anything. "Cass?" he asked, raising one brow.

Castiel slowly looked down at Sam, the smile fading, "I think Dean is alone in his cell."

"How would you know that?" Mary asked, watching Castiel's face.

"Because of the bond Dean and I share, I can hear whenever he prays to me, but his prayers are louder when spoken aloud," Castiel explained, blinking a few times to focus on Mary. Then he looked ahead again, as Dean began again and gasped. 

Sam went back to the screen, while Mary continued to stare, watching as Castiel's smile returned and he began to blush. 

"Is this normal?" Mary whispered to Sam.

Sam looked up at Castiel and shrugged his shoulders, "I've never been around him when Dean prays." As his eyes slowly moved back down to his screen, Sam noticed a part of Castiel was growing and coughed, "And I don't think we wanna be here anymore." He elbowed Castiel in the stomach, hard.

Castiel flinched and looked down, noticing the bulge that was very visible and gasped, his cheeks feeling even hotter. He excused himself and quickly walked out of the room, practically running to Dean's room. All the while, Dean's still explaining, in just enough detail, what he plans to do to him. 

Once he was safely behind Dean's closed door, he sighed and leaned against the door, picturing Dean's hands roaming over his body. As he slipped both his trench coat and jacket off, he could almost feel Dean's hot kisses against the side of his neck. While he undid his tie, he could feel Dean pulling on it slightly, making it easier for their lips to meet. He walked over to the bed and laid down, immediately palming himself through his pants. He quickly unzipped his pants, his throbbing member instantly springing free, the head slick with precum already. Dean had long since stopped praying to him, but his words were echoing. 

Castiel laid his head back, closing his eyes as he slowly stroked himself. He inhaled deeply, the scent of Dean's Old English aftershave and musk. This made his dick throb, causing Castiel to pump faster, a small moan escaping his lips. He heard Dean pick up again, "Awe, baby, I made myself rock hard for ya, but I can't do anythin' 'bout it." Another dick twitch, accompanied by another moan. "Wish you were here to suck me of with those beautiful lips of yours." Castiel pictured Dean standing in front of him, getting down on his knees. This caused him to pump harder. "Sucking my whole length into your mouth, sliding your tongue around Little Dean." A few more pumps and Castiel was going to spill. He could feel the precum begin to drip down his head, slicking his hand. "I'd love to hear and feel those soft, dirty moans coming out of your sexy mouth." Castiel moaned louder and felt himself spill over, breathing heavy. He kept his eyes closed, riding out the feeling, still hearing Dean pray to him. He wished he could tell Dean to stop or something. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. "Awe, fuck, I'm so hard." Another twitch and Castiel half groaned, half moaned, curing Dean for having such a tight hold over him. Castiel tried to ignore it as Dean continued, "I really need ya, babe. This fuckin' sucks. I don't think I've been this hard in awhile." Castiel was beginning to hear the exasperation in his voice. "The guard is givin' me a weird look. Fuck, he's com-"

Castiel popped into the jail cell, keeping himself invisible from Dean, but he couldn't help but laugh as he watched Dean wither on the bench, a clear bulge in his tight jeans. If Castiel was a cruel man, he would keep himself invisible, but go over to Dean and begin to suck him. Instead, he watched as the guard came over to the cell door and peered in, seeing how uncomfortable Dean was. Castiel walked over and stood between the two of them, trying to guard Dean from the guard's prying eyes. Before the guard could look down, Castiel touched Dean's forehead, relieving all of Dean's sexual tension. As though Dean could sense him, which he probably could, he looked up in front of him and mouthed his appreciation and smiled, putting his fingers where Castiel's were, put not being able to feel another. 

Castiel took a step back, looking down at Dean. He could easily pop the locks on the handcuff, making Dean even more comfortable, but he must have done something to the cops or guards, if he was still in them. He knew he could sit down on the bench next to Dean, but that would allow for more problems as Dean would know he was still there and try and talk to him. The last thing they needed was a trip down to the psych ward because he was sitting there, talking to his invisible angel boyfriend. So, Castiel departed Dean's cell and walked around, until he found Claire.

She wasn't as luck as Dean to have an empty cell. She was sitting on an empty bench though. The floor was occupied by a passed out woman, snoring. Claire looked scared and uncomfortable, her knees pulled up to her chest and staring anywhere but at the woman on the floor. Castiel turned around and looked out the small window of the cell. They were in the back part of the jail, with little surveillance. so, he walked over to the corner of the cell that was darker than the rest and appeared to Claire. 

"Hello Claire," he said softly, as not to startle her.

Claire's head shot up and she looked towards the familiar voice. "What are ya doin' here?" she hissed.

"I was uh-relieving Dean and decided to check on you," Castiel said as he stepped out of the shadows.

Claire looked him over. He was missing in trench coat, jacket and tie. His shirt was wrinkled. "Are you okay, man?"

Castiel tilted his head and then looked down at himself. He felt his cheeks heat and he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yes, well, Dean-"

Claire held up her hand to stop him and shivered in disgust, "I can only imagine what that sexual fiend could come up with." Castiel smiled sheepishly. "But that didn't answer my question."

Castiel walked over and sat next to her. She slid closer to him and laid her head on his chest. "You look concerned. I'm here to inform you of the plan."

"Yeah, I am a little freaked out. She ain't helpin' too much," she said, pointing to the mass on the ground.

"You and Dean should be out of here soon. Jody put a warrant out for Dean's arrest, saying he was carrying without a permit-"

"I'm sure he was. I was, too. I tucked mine under the front seat before we got pulled over," Claire interjected.

Castiel's face went white, "The car. All of the weapons inside."

Claire felt all the blood leave her face and she sat up, looking at Castiel. "It hasn't been that long. Should be able to get it-"

"Jody has this all figured out. You and Dean will be safe," Castiel rushed out and then disappeared, tracking the spare angel blade in the truck to an impound lot a few miles away from the station. 

Baby was sitting in the front of the lot, her black paint streaked with dust. Castiel stepped around the corner of the lot and called Jody. She picked up on the second ring. 

"I just got the warrant to go through. I'm jumpin' in the car now. Should be there in two hours," she rushed out.

"That's not why I'm calling," Castiel plainly said, feeling relieved that this was going to be over soon.

"Oh? Somethin' happen to Ben?" Jody asked, causing Castiel to flash there and back to the impound lot.

"No, I just checked. He is still resting," Castiel replied.

"Ok... What is it then?" Jody asked. Castiel could hear the sounds of her driving.

"The car. I'm at the impound lot. We need to get it before the police can search the car," Castiel said, peering around the corner at the sleek body.

"That's taken care of. Will help more, now that you're there. I'm assumin' you have a badge?"

"Yes. I never-" he began to reach into his trench coat pocket and froze. 

"Huh?" Jody asked, giving Castiel enough time to flash home and back, now wearing the trench coat.

"Yes, I have my badge."

"Good. Use it. If they have questions, say you're workin' with me and I told you to pick the car up as evidence and then hightail it back to the bunker," Jody explained.

"Alright," Castiel said and then hung up.

He began to walk around the corner, making it look like he had walked a lot longer than he had. As he approached the guardhouse, he reached inside his pocket.

"Can I help ya?" the guard asked him, looking him over.

"Yes, Officer Cladwell. I'm Agent Beyoncé, " he paused to pull out his badge and show it off. "Working with Sheriff Mills on the Winchester/Novak case. She has asked that the Impala be released to my custody."

The guard looked perplexed, "Is that so?" Castiel nodded his head. "The car hasn't even been searched. Heard it was in a high speed chase. As far as this warrant, I ain't heard nothin' 'bout that, and I'm gonna need some proof."

Castiel blinked and reached into his other pocket, pulling his phone out again, calling Jody again. When the guard protesting, Castiel held his hand up and waited for Jody to answer. 

"Trouble already?" she asked.

"Yeah," Castiel took a few steps away. "Guard wants to see a warrant." 

Jody groaned, "I didn't think of that. Hand the guard the phone."

Castiel walked back over and extended his phone towards the guard, "The sheriff wishes to talk to you."

The guard took the phone and tried to talk. Castiel watched as he could hear Jody yelling on the other end. The guard managed to get a few yes ma'am's or no ma'am's out every now and then. Castiel folded his arms and waited, watching the guard's face pale. Finally, the guard handed the phone back after hanging up. He then turned around and reached behind him, grabbing the keys. He slowly handed them to Castiel, quickly pulling his hand away when Castiel took the keys. "Here ya go, sir," the guard whimpered as he pushed a button to open the gate. "Have a good day," he mumbled as Castiel walked away.

Castiel nodded and walked over to the car, wondering what Jody had said to cause such a reaction. Once he was in the front seat, he stuck the key in the ignition and turned the engine over, feeling Baby purr. He smiled and drove out of the lot and down the road a little bit. 

After he found a deserted back road, he pulled off to the side and cut the engine. He stuck his hand under the front bench seat and felt the whole way across the car, his fingers bumping into various weapons. He sat back up and opened the glove box, a few fake IDs spilling out, along with a few condoms. He shoved the contents back in, making a mental note of the condoms and then got out of the car. He walked around the front, seeing various weeds and wildflowers sticking out of the grill, along with dirt caked the whole way around the car. He walked back to the trunk and popped it open. He lifted the false bottom to see everything was still in place. Breathing a sigh of relief, he leaned against the back of the car as he closed the trunk. He then walked back up the driver's seat and got in, seeing the car was almost out of gas. "Whatever you did to get yourself in jail, Dean Winchester, you seemed to have taken it out on Baby," Castiel mumbled to himself as he started the car again, pulling back onto the road. He drove for a few more minutes until he saw signs for a gas station up ahead.

After filling up with gas, Castiel pulled back onto the road. Since coming to know the Winchesters, he had made it a point to memorize every road map of the United States, in case something like this were to happen. Or, in case he was to be on his own again and not know which way is up. So, finding his way back to the bunker wasn't going to be a problem. If he calculated right, he should be arriving there around the same time as Jody would be. Pulling out his phone, he dialed Sam's number.

"Why are ya callin' me from the bunker?" Sam asked, sounding confused.

"I left the bunker about an hour ago. I went relieve your brother and check on Claire," Castiel began to explain, taking extra caution while driving and talking on the phone. The last thing he wanted to do was wreck Baby and make Dean mad.

"So, where are ya now?"

"Driving Baby back to the bunker. I retrieved her from the impound lot before she could be searched."

"Oh shit, good thinkin' Cass."

Castiel didn't say anything for a few minutes. "Jody is on her way to the jail. I should be arriving home around the same time as them."

"Oh good. See you then," Sam said and then Castiel hung up.

He put the phone back in his pocket and turned the volume up on the radio. "Burnin' For You" began to play. Castiel recognized it from the years of riding in the backseat and hummed along, getting some of the words right every now and then. He rolled the windows down and brought his speed dup to about 60, loving the feeling of the wind whipping through his hair, making him feel like he was flying.

He missed flying. He had had his wings back fro quite some time now, but he didn't often find he needed them, with riding shotgun on most missions with the Winchesters lately. He wasn't even sure if Dean had ever seen his wings. The thought of showing his wings off to a human, especially one as special as Dean, excited him. This is what Castiel thought of for most of his drive back to the bunker, deciding the next time he was alone with Dean, he would take him up to the roof of the bunker and unfurl his wings. He knew anyplace inside wouldn't allow his to open them at full capacity.


	10. Chapter 10: It's All Coming Back to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! After putting it off, I finally decided to tackle this chapter again. Sorry it took me so long.

Ben felt himself hit the wooden porch. He felt the wood splinter into his palms. He could remember his head throbbing, memories flashing before his eyes. He heard Claire come out. And then everything when dark.

_"Happy Birthday, Ben," his mom was saying to him as she woke him up._

_He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stretched, his Buzz Lightyear sheets bunching up under his small body. He blinked, focusing on his mom as she was leaning over him and asked in a small voice, "My party is today?"_

_She nodded and ran her hands through his bushy hair, "Yeah, today's the day. My little boy is turnin' eight."_

_At that, Ben hurried to get ready for his party. He flitted around his room, trying to find the perfect outfit, finally settling on a pair of dark jeans, a black t-shirt and a jean jacket. Even though he had just turned eight, looking good was important to him. His hair was the most important part, as he spent at least twenty minutes getting it to lay flat, yet slick up in the front. You could never be too prepared to meet some hot chicks, especially since the majority of his guests were girls._

_~~~~~~~~~~~_

_The party was dragging on for Lisa, but Ben didn't seem to notice. He was having too much fun with flirting and the bounce house that his mom surprised him with. He was trying his best to impress three of girls there as he attempted to do cool tricks in the bounce house. So far, he was doing a pretty good job, getting giggles and claps from them. He continued in the bounce house until he was out of breath and Lisa suggested he take a break and come open some of his presents._

_He couldn't quite remember everything he got, but an AC/DC cd stood out. Along with some new Hot Wheels and his first guitar from his mom. He remembered strumming the out of tune chords and then someone announced the cake was ready, so the guitar was quickly discarded for the sugary goodness._

_He could remember his cake being race car themed, complete with three new toy cars, all street rods and classic ones at that. Of course he got the first pick and he chose to have half vanilla, half chocolate, getting part of the racetrack. He took his cake and went to stand back over by the bounce house, watching the girls jump up and down. It was then when his father first walked into his life, little did he know it._

_He happened to notice movement out of his eye as a man, dressed very much the same as him, carrying a plate of cake, walked towards him and casually leaned against the fence. He couldn't quite recall the exact words spoken, but he knew he felt very comfortable with the man. He did most of the talking, but the conversation was very short and then he was back in the bounce house, forgetting all about Dean, but it wouldn't be the last time he saw him._

_Ben decided to go to the park the next day, trying to show off his new video games. What he thought was cool, was even cooler to the neighborhood bullies. Those three kids were much taller and rounder than him and scared him when they took his Nintendo DS. Ben would had been happy to share with them, but they just took it without asking. After asking several times for his game back and after getting shoved on the ground, he picked himself up and went over to sit on a nearby bench, waiting for them to bring it back._

_In the meantime, the man from his party the day before showed up and sat down next to him. The man quickly recognized his distress and offered to step in. Instead of letting the grownup take care it, the man gave him a few pointers on how to get his game back. Ben was unsure about the idea of violence as he walked back over to group of bullies, but one glance back at the man, who was cheering him on, made him change his mind. There was something about that man that made him feel safe and like he could accomplish anything._

_After the deed was done and he had his game back, the man congratulated him. The two shared a brief smile, before Mom came over and scolded the two of them. She pulled the man away from the bench and began yelling at him in a hushed voice, though Ben heard it all. It was then that he realized that the man was his father._

_Mom pulled him away, after telling Dean to never come back and to just leave them alone. That wasn't how Ben wanted things to end between him and his dad, so he ran back to hug him. He wanted the hug to last forever. He didn't want his dad to go away again, but Mom didn't want Dean around._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Three years passed. Ben had moved up to middle school. He wasn't picked on anymore, as he had finally hit a growth spurt and was taller than most of the kids in his class. He's been doing well in school, has a few friends. Life for him and Mom is good, but then it all got turned upside down when Dean showed up on their doorstep._

_It wasn't often that someone knocked on their front door, so when someone did, Ben put the game down he had been playing and went to check. Mom had beat him to it, so he sat at the top of the steps, out of sight, to listen. He couldn't help himself._

_After a few brief minutes, Ben recognized the deep voice as his father's. He wanted to race down the stairs, ask why he was there, but the conversation was over too quickly and Mom was closing the door. Ben felt angry and excited all at the same time. Ever since Dean first came into his life, he had been pestering his mom for anything she knew about the guy._

_Once Mom was away from the door, Ben barreled down the stairs and ripped open the front door to see that shiny, black Impala driving away, Dean sitting alone in the driver's seat. He wanted to ran out of the house, down the street after him, but Mom's hand on his shoulder kept him rooted in place, watching the rain fall as the car drove away, taking part of his heart with him._

_The next few weeks had been hard for both of them. It was early November, so school had just started. There were a few parent/teacher things that Ben wished Dean would had been to, but he never said anything to anyone. He kept to himself mostly, which concerned his teachers and Mom. The guidance councilor began to see him weekly, as they thought he was depressed. He just didn't really want many friends, as they always tried to ask about where his dad was and Ben never had an answer._

_And then Thanksgiving rolled around. The holiday was normally his favorite one, but he just couldn't get into this year. Knowing his dad had been there about a month ago and couldn't even say hello to him made being part of a family really hard. The only thing he could be thankful for was having good food to eat and plenty of pie._

_By spring, his grades were slipping. He had been grounded a few times because of it, lost his video games and everything, but he still didn't care. His main focus was on his dad and how to find him._

_After many frustrating conversations, Mom had finally given him a name. Within a week, Ben had been able to find half a dozen news stories with that man, along with a Sam Winchester that he assumed was his uncle, on the internet. Most of the stories were heartwarming as the two of them saved the day, but there was a few that was a little scary. Like the unusual bank robbery that listed all of the charges the two of them had against them. After learning that, he was a little uneasy about what his dad and uncle did for a living. He still wanted to believe they were heroes._

_And then there was another knock on the door. This time, Ben had been sitting in the living room. He turned around to see the Impala sitting in their driveway and lept up. Mom had said finally told him that their last conversation was a little concerning as he had it sound like something horrible was about to happen and he may never be back._

_Mom let him into the house. He walked over to the stairs and put an old, green duffel bag down and looked between Mom and him before he slowly smiled. Ben noticed that he looked years older, his skin was more tan and weathered. There were various scars across his face and hands. The light Ben remembered seeing in his eyes was gone._

_"Hi Ben," was all Dean said._

_Ben was happy he was back as he hugged his dad, squeezing him tighter than he had in the last hug._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_The next year and half went by with a few hitches. Dean was really hard on Ben for doing so bad in school. By the end of the year, Ben had all A's, as Dean really put the fear of God in him. Mom was happy again and the two acted like a couple after a few weeks of him being in their home. By the end of summer, the three of them seemed like a happy family, well as happy as Dean could be._

_Ben had learned that Dean had lost his brother, uncle and best friend all in one day. This caused Dean to drink a lot at first, but after he realized he had a new family, he changed. By the time summer rolled around, he was a different person. He had gotten a job as a contractor. The Impala that he called Baby, was tucked into their garage and he got a truck that was better on gas. He started to talk about other things. He actually looked happy, which made Ben very happy._

_That year and half was Ben's happiest time. He learned all of the basics to working on a car. Dean even let him work on Baby. He learned how to shoot a pistol and handle a knife. Dean took him fishing almost every weekend. They went hunting in the fall and winter._

_Ben made new friends at school. Collin, Zack and Kyle often came over to the house for sleepovers or just a movie night. Dean often sat with them to eat pizza and pick the movie of the week, but he would always leave halfway through to go to bed. All of his friends thought Dean was pretty cool._

_And then things began to change in the spring. Dean started to revert back into the way he was when he first came to them. Ben noticed he triple checked that the doors and windows were locked, and the salt lines, something Ben thought was really silly, were intact. More weapons began to show up around the house. Dean thought no one would notice, but Ben did._

_It was the worst when Dean demanded Mom take him to the movies. Ben tried to protest; tried to stay behind as he could feel the danger as well. He wanted to stay with Dean and protect his family as well, the hell with only being eleven. He didn't win, though and they went to see some action movie. Ben could hardly pay attention to the plot as he was worried. Mom looked worried, but she didn't say anything._

_When they came home, they found Dean in a panicked state. He tries to explain that everything is fine, but he tells them that he needs to go take care of some business and that a cousin of his was going to watch over them and then he left. A little while later, that man was killed and Dean came back, taking them to his uncle's house, saying this would be the safest place for them._

_Going to the old man's house was odd. Had Ben not been worried, it might had been fun to wander around the scrap yard to see all of the classic cars Uncle Bobby kept there, but both Mom and Dean wouldn't let him out of their sights. The weirdest part of that whole time there was meeting his Uncle Sam, whom he thought was dead._

_They were only there a few days. During those days, it was just Mom and Uncle Bobby as Uncle Sam and Dean went back home to get rid of something. In the meantime, Uncle Bobby had played catch with him until his shoulder started to hurt. He let him change the oil on a few cars people had brought in. He got to wash a couple of cars, as well. He didn't mind the hard work. Ever since Dean showed him the engine of Baby and the truck, Ben fell in love with working with his hands on the cars. He really enjoyed his time working with Uncle Bobby and was quite upset when Dean and Uncle Sam came back to take them home._

_A week later and Dean had them moved into a new home in Michigan. Ben hardly had time to say goodbye to his friends, but he was hopeful for a new beginning. Having Dean around made moving all that easier... Until he wasn't allowed to leave the house. Once they moved, Dean began to treat him like a prisoner and he couldn't understand why. He really didn't mind helping his mom unpack, but he needed a break from it. He wanted to go explore the neighborhood, see if there was a park nearby that he could make some friends and possibly find some girls at, but Dean forbade him._

_After a quick family meeting, Mom and Dean set up limits of where he could go and to keep his phone on him at all times. This relieved some of the tension in the house, but not for long. Uncle Sam had called again, asking for help on a case. Dean was gone again and Ben didn't know when he would return._

_The next couple of days saw Ben and Mom unpacking the rest of the house. Ben would take breaks to go to the park, where he made friends with a group of kids. When he would come home for dinner, Mom and him would talk like nothing every happened; like Dean wasn't putting his life at risk. Ben had figured out that Dean hunted monsters and Ben wanted to help. That conversation had ended with him being yelled at and running up to his room. He couldn't understand why Dean didn't want his help._

_Little did Ben know that this would be one of the last times he would see Dean. When he came home from the case, he apologized to both of them, saying he wished his life would had been different; that he didn't keep getting pulled back into the job but him leaving would keep both him and his little family safe. Mom told him their door was always open and to come home when he could._

_He didn't see Dean again until October. There were many a phone call between spring and October, but Dean didn't come home until then. When he did come home, it wasn't a happy visit. He was there long enough to scare both of them and then flee. Dean had never shoved him in anger. All he wanted to do was hug his dad and welcome him home, but Dean shoved him and ran._

_The next day, Mom called him. Ben had been in his room but he turned his music down when he heard the phone ring. He listened to Mom tell Dean goodbye, for good and how he had hurt both of them the night before. Ben wanted to speak up, to stop Mom, but he couldn't bring himself to. Dean had changed again once Uncle Sam came back into his life, he agreed with him mom. Ben also didn't like the whole I'll come home when I can act that Dean was doing. He missed the way it used to be. He missed getting to work on the Impala. The only good thing that came of Dean leaving was the truck._

_Ben started his new school. He kept his nose buried in the books. When he had free time, he would look up some of the things Dean and Uncle Sam and Uncle Bobby had been talking about. He started with a thing called a Djinn and worked his way through lore on ghosts and other monsters. He kept this up until a teacher in the library one day saw what Ben was researching and asked why he had such a special interest in vampires and ghosts._

_"It's for my dad. This is what he does and I wanna join him some day," Ben said, not really paying attention as he continued to take notes on what weapons would kill a vampire and how Dean was able to shove him across the hallway with so much force._

_"Your dad researches things of horror movies?" the teacher had asked._

_Ben was getting annoyed. He only had a few more minutes left of his study and this teacher was distracting him. Because of this, he thought after he spoke when he said, "No, he hunts them. Him and my uncle save people." When he didn't hear a response, he looked up to see the teacher giving him a concerned and pensive look. The next thing he knew, he was sitting in front of the principal and guidance councilor._

_They left him alone for awhile, giving him time to think how he was going to get Dean out of this pickle. He may only be eleven, but he knew that the family business was supposed to be a secret, as most people wouldn't understand. He never got a chance to explain anything. No one came out to talk to him._

_After what felt like an hour or more, his mom was walking into the office, her heels clicking down the hall. They had called her from her job as an insurance adjuster and he felt awful about it. Sure, he may still be young, but this wasn't something his mom needed to be involved._

_The principal called the two of them into his office and sat down at his desk. He handed Lisa the notebook Ben had been neatly keeping since the beginning of the school year. She flipped through it, feeling her stomach drop. She knew of everything that Ben had been documenting. The fact that Ben was doing research on this, behind her back, infuriated her. She thought she had cut Dean out of their lives._

_She looked up from the notebook, complete with drawings and looked at Ben, who was looking back at her with an indifferent smile._

_"How long have ya been doin' this?" she asked, handing the notebook back to Ben. The other two adults looked at him, waiting for his response._

_He licked his bottom lip in the way he saw Dean do many times when he was nervous and slowly began, "Well, I couldn't use my own laptop 'cause I know ya check my history, so I've been usin' the library's. All my other school work gets done first. I don't want Dean to come down on me again."_

_Lisa was shaking her head as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She wanted to yell at him. Wanted to say things that neither of the other adults in the room would understand, but what she chose to say instead was, "We'll talk about this at home." Then she turned and looked the others to ask, "Is he in trouble at all?"_

_The councilor shook her head, "No, we just find it concerning that this is how he chooses to spend him time. We've noticed that he doesn't spend much time with any of the other children, he eats his lunch alone. He's very good in gym and anything that involves working with his hands. He's a bright child, just a bit of a loner."_

_Ben opened his mouth to explain why. To explain that the more friends you have, the easier a target you are for the monsters, but Mom glared at him. He closed his mouth and looked down at the ground._

_"If he's doin' well in his classes and he has a few friends, I'm not too worried about him," Lisa said, her foot tapping impatiently. Both of the adults nodded. Lisa stood up, the other two following her._

_"As I can see this is stressful for both of you, maybe it's best to take him home a little early," the principal suggested._

_Lisa nodded and took Ben out of the office. The two remained quiet as Ben went back to his locker to get his backpack. Nothing was said until they were parked in their driveway. Lisa turned to him, "Do we need to get you help?"_

_Ben shrugged his shoulders, "I miss Dean and I wanna be like him, some day. I wanna save people."_

_Lisa shook her head, "You can't ever talk about what Dean does, Ben." She got out of the car and started to walk up to their front door. She turned and looked down at him, "Dean is gone, Ben and I wanna keep it that way. He brought took much danger and upheaval upon us. You need to focus on school and I can't loose my job."_

_Ben could see the conversation was over, so he went back inside._

_He spent the next several months doing everything he could to keep Dean's memory alive. He kept a box of his things in his closet and would often pull it out and look at their photographs together. The thing he missed the most was the fishing. Mom didn't like to fish and he could find anyone to take him over the fall. He never gave up researching all the lore he could get his hands on. Mom had tried restricting him from it, but she finally settled on letting him do it, as long as he only used his laptop and never had it in school. Ben thought that was reasonable. And this was how Ben kept tabs on Dean; by finding the news stories of the next day or two after. Occasionally, a picture of him would be posted. He looked good, looked happy._

_And this was how Ben and Lisa lived. The holidays came and went. A few family members asked where Dean was. Ben secretly sent Uncle Bobby a Christmas card, addressed to all of them. A few days later, an unmarked envelope came to the house, with a check in it him and note telling him that Uncle Bobby thought he was a swell kid and welcomed in his house any time. Mom never knew about it, since Ben was the one who got the mail almost every day._

_Ben was happy. Because of him being happy, he let a few kids befriend him. Whenever they came over to the house, he was careful to keep his closet shut, as that was where he kept all of his hunting things, except for the knife he kept between his mattresses. Life went on, until Mom started dating. Ben panicked and called Dean. He couldn't let Mom go out with someone else. He wanted Dean back._

_So, it was later that night that a knock came to the door and Ben came running out of his room to see his mom rushing to answer the door, probably thinking it was her date. The two of them were shocked to see each other, but Ben was happy. He could hear the two of them talking, so he walked into the living room, only to be told to go to his room, but not after Dean had smiled at him. So, he quietly did, hoping Dean would stay and come talk to him._

_Dean eventually came in and made some small talk with him. Ben didn't want small talk. He wanted Dean home, but Dean wasn't making it easy. Just from the few words and how hesitant he was to sit down on his bed, Ben knew he wasn't coming home, but he still had to ask. And then Dean turned more towards him, explaining how he wouldn't understand his life or how he couldn't bring himself to let his life go, chalking it up to how Ben would understand it all when he was older. When Dean said, "I think my job turns me into someone that can't sit at your dinner table," Ben was really confused. He knew Dean killed things, but he had to, in order to save people. And then Dean said he didn't want Ben to turn out to be like him. That really hurt him. Ever since Dean came to live with them, he had been Ben's hero and now to find out that Dean didn't want to be a part of his life anymore. That one conversation changed how Ben looked at Dean. As furious as he was for Dean walking out on them, he couldn't bring himself to destroy any of their memories._

_Ben watched Dean leave out his window, hoping he would never come back. The next day, he threw the notebook, along with all of his research, into the box and sealed it._

_Over the next several months, Ben learned to forget Dean and everything he did. He quit keeping tabs on him. He never sent anything to Bobby again. Life was as normal as it had been before Dean walked into their lives. Ben had made plenty of friends. He was hardly ever home anymore. Mom got promoted and was dating. Life was normal._

_And then it happened. It was late spring, a Saturday, and he was reading a comic book, waiting for one of his friends to call with some plans. He heard the front door bust open and ran to the stairs, looking down in time to see a man snap Matt, Mom's new boyfriend's, neck and hold Mom captive. He ran back into his room and panicked. He picked up his phone and called the first person he could think of, Dean. Dean walked him through what to do. As he was about to jump out his window, his door was busted down and his ankle was grabbed. He felt something strike the back of his head and then everything went dark._

_When he woke up again, he found himself tied to a pole, being forced to sit with his arms behind him. He saw Mom beside him. Across the dimly lit, cold room he could see someone was watching the two of them. Neither of them dared to speak. They just held hands and waited until someone would find them._

_After what felt like hours with no food and no conversation, two other men came into the room and down the stairs. As they did so, Ben could hear someone being beat up. One of the men went to check the source. All this made Ben very uneasy and he could tell Mom was just as scared._

_Not even thirty seconds passed before the man was kicked through the door and down the stairs, causing wood to splinter and ran down on them. Ben couldn't help but look up at the open doorway, just in time to see Dean's figure appear, holding a knife. The other man pushed Dean away from the door, causing both of them to gasp. Dean reappeared, kicking the man down the stairs and then looked at the two of them. He pulled a knife out of his boot and easily cut the rope that tied their hands together. Then he helped the two of them to their feet._

_Just when Ben thought he was save, Mom pulled Dean's knife and pressed it against his throat, making both Ben and Dean freeze. Ben looked up to see what was going on and saw Mom's eyes were pure black. He knew what she was then, but had nothing to defend himself. He looked back at Dean, waiting for their next move. As Dean started to walk closer to him, he could feel the blade pressing into his throat. And then the demon in his mom told him that Dean really was his dad. This made Ben feel lightheaded. He knew all along, but now that it was out there..._

_Then came all of the hurtful things the demon was saying. He didn't want to believe any of it, but it all sounded so true; so real. Dean kept telling him not to listen, but he couldn't help it. He was still a little mad at Dean for walking out, but he was trying to hide that, along with the tears that were threatening to leak out._

_Dean told him was going to be just fine as he threw some water on them. The hold on him was released and Dean grabbed him, pushing him behind him. He watched as the demon went after Dean, but Dean got the upper hand, shoving her against a wall, dropping the knife. Dean asked for it and Ben ran over, holding the knife and facing the demon. He saw a flash of silver from Dean's pocket, both of them faltering to hurt her, knowing it would hurt Mom. Then Dean started to chant something in a language he didn't understand. The demon tried to fight back, chocking Dean. Dean paused, long enough for the demon to stab herself in the stomach. Dean started chanting again, a black smoke coming out of her mouth. She collapsed to the ground, blood pooling out of her wound and mouth. Both of them rushed over to her, Dean giving him instructions on what to do as he tried to call Uncle Sam. All he could was focus on the blood. He could hear Dean talking, but none of it was sinking in. He was scared and he wanted to run, but he couldn't move. Then Dean smacked him, bringing him back. Dean told him to go over and get a gun. He tried to protest, but Dean wouldn't let him._

_He grabbed the gun and the knife as Dean picked up Mom. Someone tried to approach him and he shot the rifle off, the sound making his ears ring. They kept walking, Ben shooting off a few more rounds, until they found Uncle Sam. He took off after Dean said something about finding a ride. A few minutes later, Ben was sitting in the back seat of a white Jeep, his mom's legs across him, Dean mumbled something to keep everyone calm. Uncle Sammy was speeding, but Ben didn't care. All he cared about was getting his mom help._

_Since Ben was fine, except for the shock, he wasn't admitted to the hospital. The three of them ended up sitting in the waiting room for the rest of the night, getting very few updates, since Ben was too young and none of them were legally family._

_It was seven hours later when they were told she had a room and they could go see her. Uncle Sam stayed in the waiting room as Ben and Dean went up. They both froze at the door, seeing her laying in the bed, a breathing tube and many different IVs hooked up. Dean was the first to go in the room. He walked over to her and squeezed her hand. Ben walked in and sat down. He was afraid he would hurt her, or pull something loose if he touched her. The two remained silent for some time until Dean spoke._

_"Ben, I'm sorry."_

_He refused to look at Dean, knowing that he was the reason why his mom was laying in a hospital bed. He couldn't talk to him. Not yet, so he fled the room. He was gone for a half hour, coming back with a few snacks he had found. When he walked into the room, he saw a man in a trench coat, standing at the window, his back to the door. Ben asked who he was, looking around for Dean._

_"My name does not matter," he said and walked over to Ben, placing his hand on Ben's forehead. Ben tried to step away, but the man held him in place. As he did so, a warm feeling came over him and he slouched, falling into a chair._

_Ben woke up several hours later, seeing his mom sitting in the hospital bed, thanking the two of them survived the car accident. The two of them talked for a few minutes after she woke up and then the man who hit them came and apologized. He looked pretty shook up as he explained what happened. Ben had an odd feeling that he knew the man, but he was gone before he could ask about it. ___

__~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__Sam was sitting in the room with Ben, watching at the young boy close to his height began to move around more on the bed. It had been a day and a half since he was in the coma and Sam could sympathize with him. He was sure that Ben was going through something similar when the wall Death had put up in his mind came crumbled down._ _

__Sam remembered passing out from that for a few hours. And then the hallucinations started. Why Ben was still passed out, no one knew. Castiel had tried to get in his mind at some point, but there was nothing there. So, it was left to Sam to sit and wait with his nephew, until Jody, Claire, Dean and Castiel all made it back home._ _

__A few more hours passed and Castiel was the first to arrive home. He popped into the room, letting Sam go and wait for the rest of them. Less than an hour later, Dean was sitting beside Ben, holding his hand, feeling it twitch more and more._ _

__"What's goin' on?" Dean asked Cass._ _

__Castiel was standing, his hand rest on Dean's shoulder. He looked down at Ben and walked over. He touched his forehead and then looked back at Dean, "He has a fever."_ _

__"Is that a good or bad thing? What do we do?" Dean asked in a panic._ _

__Castiel put his hand back down and closed his eyes, feeling Ben's emotions of confusion and the need to fight. He pulled his hand away and looked at Dean, "I believe he's waking up."_ _

__Dean held onto Ben's hand, a little tighter, watching as Ben's eyelids slowly fluttered open._ _

__~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ _

__Ben looked around the dimly lit room, feeling confused. He didn't remember being in a room. He remembered being outside, sipping coffee and waiting for Dean to show up. He remembered passing out and now he was somewhere unfamiliar. The room smelled of fresh rain, mixed with aftershave and the smell old furniture gives off._ _

__He licked his lips a few times and slowly sat up, seeing his dad and the man from the hospital room so many years ago, looking back at him. Dean had a worried smile on his face and the other man was watching Dean._ _

__"Dad?" Ben whispered, looking between the two._ _

__Dean's eyes opened wide, "Ben? You okay?"_ _

__Ben slowly nodded his head, looking himself over. He had a few IVs hooked up to himself. The man in the trench coat walked over to him and slowly sat down on the side of the bed._ _

__"Hello Ben, my name is Castiel. I'm an angel of the Lord," he explained as he reached towards him._ _

__Ben freaked out, shoving him away. "No!" he squeaked. "The last time ya did that, I forgot all about Dean. I don't wanna forget him again; not after I worked so hard to find him." Tears were welling up in his eyes._ _

__"You remember me?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side._ _

__"Ben," Dean said, bringing his attention back to him. "Cass is just gonna check your temperature; make sure you're good enough to unhook ya." Dean spoke slowly and calmly._ _

__Ben looked between the two of them and slowly nodded his head. Castiel's hand was laid on his forehead. After a few seconds, Castiel pulled his hand away, nodding at Dean._ _

__"There's no signs of the wall," Castiel said, looking at Dean. Then he turned to look at Ben. "Ben, what do you remember?"_ _

__Ben smiled, "I remember everythin'."_ _


End file.
